3 Reminders If You Don’t Have What You Want Out of Your Life

 

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Have you ever felt that you're not living the life you truly want? You're not alone.

Welcome back to another bonus episode of the Embrace Your Real podcast. In a world where many feel unfulfilled, it's time to shift perspectives and take control of your own happiness. Discover the keys to unlocking a life filled with contentment and purpose. In this episode, we delve into three simple yet profound reminders to help you reshape your perspective on achieving your desires. These three reminders offer a roadmap to find what you truly want in life by looking within, prioritizing self-love, and embracing the empowering journey of giving yourself the love and attention you deserve.

 

What I discuss:

  1. Accept that fact that WHAT you’re looking for isn’t out THERE – it’s in HERE. 

  2. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

  3. “The love and attention you always thought you wanted from someone else, give it to yourself." 

If you loved this episode, be sure to tune in to…

Episode 108 - Self Love: The #1 Thing That Transformed My Mindset

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Transcript:

[00:00:00] Hey, beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real with Me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to embrace your real. Let's get it. Let's go. [00:00:22][22.5]

[00:00:31] Hello and welcome back to another bonus episode. Do you feel like you aren't living the life that you want? Or that you don't have the things in life that you want? If that is you, if you're like, Yes, I feel like I'm not living the life that I envisioned. I don't have the things that I want. I'm not where I where I thought I would be. And this season in my life, like you are not alone. In fact, there's actually a 2023 Pew Research Center that surveyed 60% of Americans say that they feel like they don't have what they want in life. That's 60% this over. Over half by plus ten. Over half plus 10% of Americans feel like they don't have what they want in life. So how do you avoid becoming just another statistic? How do you stop this feeling growing inside of you that you just don't have what you want in life or aren't living the life that you want? [00:01:22][50.7]

[00:01:22] This is exactly what I'm going to talk about in today's bonus episode. In fact, I have three simple reminders that I know that you need to hear that will help to change your perspective on how to get where you want in your life. [00:01:33][10.8]

[00:01:33] But before I dive in, I want to share this review. It comes from Ahmet. She gave a five star review and said, Love it. I absolutely love this podcast. The advice, the tips, the tricks, the healthy dose of positivity. Julie's podcast has been a game changer for me. I've struggled with self-image and self-doubt all of my life. Julie's words help to fill my cup, inspire me to embrace myself while doing all that I can for my best self, for me, my family, and the world. Thank you, Julie, for always delivering a real time message just when I need it. I have noticed more grace for myself and others just because I've tuned into you. Whoo! I love this so much. Thank you so much for this review. I appreciate every single one of your guys's reviews. They genuinely mean the world to me. [00:02:18][45.4]

[00:02:19] And I was thinking about it. I was like, Man, I want to figure out a way to leave some voice memos. I would love to hear you guys. I feel like I'm doing all the talking, so I'm going to put this out and I want to start doing voice memos on the podcast. I think that would be awesome. So I'm going to get with my team, figure out how we can do this for 2024, because I think it would be so cool to hear you guys and just hear what you're learning from this podcast, what you're getting out of this podcast. We are community and I believe that we learn from one another and so that is something that is coming. [00:02:53][33.8]

[00:02:53] But in the meantime, if you could scooch over to Apple Podcasts. Leave a rating and review. That would mean the absolute world to me and our team. Just kind of know how this podcast is helping you. If it's a specific episode in general or if a specific episode has helped change your perspective on something, I would love to know. So you could switch over to Apple Podcasts and leave that reading interview. Also, make sure to subscribe so that you never miss an episode if you're subscribed. It just genuinely means that you will get the episodes downloaded to your phone without you having to search them out every single Monday and Thursday when they release. It's completely free. And so it just helps Not only us know, you know, these people are getting them every single week to their phone, but also if you are traveling over the holidays and you won't have access to wi fi your service, the if the episodes are downloaded on your phone, you can listen to them. [00:03:41][48.2]

[00:03:42] So whether you're, you know, 14,000ft up in the air and you're flying, you don't have access to wi fi or service, you're able to listen to these podcasts. So thank you so much for tuning in. Let's dive into the three reminders. If you don't have what you want out of your life that I want to share with you today. [00:03:59][17.3]

[00:03:59] Number one, accept the fact that what you're looking for isn't out there. It's in here. You can look out there all you want, but as long as you do trust me when I say you won't find the life that you want, you won't build the life that you love and you won't love the person that you are in your life. So what do I mean by out there? So often I think that we seek validation. We seek love. We seek acceptance from external sources such as relationships, accolade material possessions, especially material possessions. We think that if, you know, we wear the right clothes, we get the right haircut, we drive the right car, we have the perfect eyebrows, nails, then we will become validated and then we will live the life that we want. And while there's nothing wrong with these things, you know I love a cute outfit. I love me a good haircut. I love me a good car, whatever it is. Just understand that those things don't validate your life. Right? I do these things because they bring me joy, not because they're a solution for being happier in my life. And I understand that no amount of cute clothes or, you know, nails or whatever it is, is going to validate me. The only thing that will that will ever validate me is first and foremost remembering that God says He loves me for me. He created me and he does not look at external. He looks inward. And also because of that, respecting my. Self and loving myself and understanding that what you're looking for isn't out there. It's in here. Meaning that you should actually seek validation from the fact that God says He loves you, He cares for you. He created you every fiber of your being. He knows you. And so regardless of those external things, we build this self found this the solid foundation of understanding whose we are and because of whose we are, we understand our self-worth. Because at the end of the day, if we don't build self-worth from understanding who's we are, there's no amount of compliments or praise or possessions that will make us feel worthy in our lives. [00:06:07][127.5]

[00:06:07] Number two, they're really learning to love your life and remembering that when you love your life, everything else falls into line. Like you truly have to have self respect in order to get things done in this world. In my opinion, if you want to be in a healthy, loving relationship with a significant other, you have to start by being in a healthy, loving relationship with yourself. You have to learn that self respect. And once you learn how to treat yourself correctly and respect yourself, then you're going to be able to find a partner who also treats you correctly because you know what it looks like and what it feels like to treat yourself with love and respect. And you'll realize that anything else is unacceptable, right? And you won't stand for those things. And I think the same is true for so many things in your life, like you're not likely going to succeed in your life, in your career, until you believe that you are someone who is worth being able to succeed and finding that confidence and saying, you know, I am capable of this. I am capable of accomplishing X, Y and Z, and remembering, like I said, you know, earlier, that those things don't dictate who you are. They don't dictate your self worth, but you can believe that you are capable of doing it and you can show up for yourself. And remember that action cures fear and gains confidence. I talk about this a lot, but I believe that when we're insecure about something, oftentimes it comes from a lack of knowledge, a lack of experience. And the more that we get experience with it, the more that we just put our her hand out there, head out there and just learn what we are maybe insecure about, the more confident we will be able to become and the more confident we'll be able to become, oftentimes the more action will take. And so just remember that. Remember that you are able to show up for yourself and you're able to accomplish what you desire, but at first starts with with putting yourself out there and getting that, you know, taking that action and saying, I want to learn what I want to learn and I'm going to put myself out there and yes, I'm probably going to fail. It's probably going to hurt. I'm probably going to be disappointed at times. But I'm so grateful that I put myself out there so that I gain confidence and I continue to move forward. Right. [00:08:27][140.0]

[00:08:28] Which leads me to number three, the love and attention that you always thought you wanted from someone else. Give that to yourself. This quote by Ruby core is so unbelievably true and there's so much like wisdom in that little nugget. And I think so many of us are living our lives based on other people when we don't receive the validation or the love or the compliment from somebody else that we feel like we're lacking in our lives and we feel like we don't have what we want in our lives, like we see these picture perfect couples or we see this woman, this woman who is living her picture perfect life on social media. And we want that. And we see that and like we see them and we see when we see them, we feel like we're lacking. And so we go out and we try and find that picture perfect relationship and we feel like our life isn't good enough until we have that. Or maybe we've been searching from for validation from our significant other, from our mother, from our boss or our friend or whatever it is. And we feel like when we don't receive that from them, we try harder. We let our whole life revolve around seeking their validation and we feel like we are lacking in our lives until we get it. And this is something too, you know, especially in the digital age that we live in, we are posting stuff seeking validation from complete strangers on the internet. If we don't get X amount of likes, if we don't get X amount of comments or whatever it is we feel like we're lacking in our life. But here's the thing. The love and the attention that we always thought and you thought or me thought that I wanted from somebody else, what if we took that and we just gave that to ourself? We allowed ourselves that attention. The love, the care, the kind words, the encouragement. I talk about this all the time, but being your own best friend is one of the most important relationships that you will ever cultivate in your life. [00:10:10][102.1]

[00:10:10] Because at the end of the day, nobody else is going to experience life through the same body and through the same lens that you're going to experience. And at the end of the day, you have to live with your own thoughts. You have to live with your own feelings. And so if you can cultivate. Deep relationship with yourself. And I believe that that is stemmed from reminding ourselves constantly of whose we are and saying, you know, God says, I'm this, and so I'm going to tell myself that I am this and believe that and walk in confidence and walk in this this conviction that we have because we are created in God's image and as such, is remembering that and not seeking this external validation, because I can tell you that will always leave you feeling dry. It will always leave you feeling like you want more. Even if they give you, you know, some validation, it's it might not be exactly what you thought in your mind. And as a result, you feel like you're going to be lacking. And that's no way to live. That is no way to live in this constant state of feeling like you're lacking simply because you're relying on other people to give you validation. And so that will always leave you feeling dry, will always leave you feeling like you want more. And so I want you to remember whose you are and walk in that confidence and walk in that conviction. [00:11:23][72.6]

[00:11:23] So let me quickly recap what we talked about in today's episode. So accept the fact that what you're looking for is an out there, it's in here and remembering to respect yourself first. And and when you have that self-respect, everything else will fall into line. Like you really have to have enough self-respect and self-love to get things done in this world. And when I say like, self-love, I mean like, you are loving yourself so much because you know who's you are, you know, the worth that you carry. You know that gifts and talents that you hold and you're believing in yourself and you're trusting that, you know, it's if you put yourself out there, you're going to learn. And yes, you're going to understand that there are going to be times that you fall, you fail. But there are also going to be times that when you continuously get back up and dust your shoulders off and say, I'm going to continue to move forward. I'm going to continue to learn and put myself out there and I'm going to continue to take action because I know that when I take action, I gain confidence and it cures that fear. You're going to be able to get so many things done in this world. And then lastly, again, just what I talked about is the validation that you want from other people. Try to go inward and just remember that validation from other people will never satisfy you, will never satisfy you. And so walk in that confidence knowing that whose you are and walk in that confidence, having that deep found relationship and respect for yourself because you recognize that that that relationship with yourself is so, so important. And I believe that that relationship with yourself is based in what God says we are and who God says we are, and learning His love and feeling the love that he lavishes on us. And I believe that that is one sure way to have a strong relationship with your self because you're connected to your creator and you won't tolerate anything less. You won't allow yourself to speak to yourself negatively because you say God doesn't say that. And if God doesn't say that, I can't say that to myself, right? I'm just remembering that. So that is all that I have for today's bonus episode. I hope that this was helpful for you. I hope that this gave you just a nugget or something to think about. My hope and prayer for these bonus episodes are just that. You walk away or you know, you come from these episodes just feeling like you're pondering on something and it's whether you journal through that, you pray through that, you just think through that, that that these nuggets of wisdom and encouragement will seed into your life and they will grow and flourish and that you'll be able to just learn new things about yourself and learn new things about your life and how you want to continue to live your life. And so that's all that I have. I hope that you found this helpful. If you have a friend, a coworker, or someone in your life that you feel like would really benefit from this episode, I just ask that you share it out with them. You can copy the links and put them in a text message. You can also screenshot this and post it up on your Instagram story. I love you so much. I mean, I'll talk to an accent. [00:14:20][177.0]

[00:14:30] All right, sister, That's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so, Julie. A Ledbetter. Yes. It's women in the middle for that daily post workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks, and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world. And I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace your real, because you're worth it. [00:14:30][0.0]

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