3 Unconventional Ways to Overcome the Comparison Game
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Comparison is a common human behavior that often leads to negative emotions like envy and self-doubt. Have you ever found yourself unfavorably compared to someone else or comparing yourself to others? If so, you're not alone.
The Embrace Your Real podcast offers a fresh perspective on this issue, aiming to help you shift your mindset to a more positive approach to comparison. In this episode, I'll provide you with practical strategies that you can immediately apply to lessen the impact of comparison in your life.
By reframing your mindset and implementing these three practical tips, you can free yourself from the destructive Comparison Game and embrace your unique qualities and strengths. So tune in to this episode and start your journey towards a happier, more fulfilled life.
What I discussed:
Explore the root cause of your need to compare in the first place.
Focus on collaboration rather than competition.
Congratulate others for having what you want.
Links mentioned in the episode:
Episode 203: 5 Swaps for the Woman Who Struggles with Comparison
If you want more from me, be sure to check out...
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Transcript:
Hey. Hey, beautiful human. Can I steal 5 minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned. If you're ready to embrace a real. Let's get it. Let's go.
Hello. Hello, and welcome back to another bonus episode. I'm so grateful that you were here spending some time with me today. I want to chat with you about comparison. This can be like a sister to sister talk. I get asked all the time how to deal with comparison because let's be real. This is something that we all struggle with from time to time. Nobody. And if someone says, Oh, I'm completely clear, I'm never jealous of anybody, they're just lying to you. They're lying to your face as they're. But I do think that we can dive into this more and we can do a few things to really minimize these feelings as much as possible.
And so my goal with this specific bonus episode is just help you reframe your mindset to help you prevent from even needing to compare in the first place and kind of give you a practical way to help you less in comparison in your life. Starting today. Before I share my thoughts with you on this, though, I wanted to read this review. It comes from Martha Bennett. She gave a five star review and it's spot on. Just so spot on:
Julie gives advice and direction I've prayed for. I can tell an actual difference in my mindset towards myself. After listening to her talk about accepting herself while simultaneously pushing me to continue to reach for my goals. Julie, thank you for this podcast.
Thank you so much. Martha. I'm so grateful that this podcast is helping you and I'm just grateful that you can tell an actual difference. That's my hope and prayer with every single episode is that it either educates you, it empowers you, it encourages you that you just walk away feeling some sort of way to help go into your life and better yourself. Whether that is fueling your body optimally, whether that's being more intentional about movement or reframing your mindset around movement and nutrition, or talking about the other things that we go into on our bonus episode. Just kind of life. Things like becoming your own best friend, embracing your quirks, all of these things. I am just grateful that this podcast is helping you. So thank you for taking time out of your day. Thank you for sending this review and it really does help me and just our team know how this podcast is helping other people and it also helps other people when they stumble upon the podcast and they kind of left their reviews to see if it's something that they would like to listen to.
Okay, so let's dive into three unconventional ways to overcome the comparison game. Number one, you've got to explore the root cause of your need to compare in the first place.
So what is the root cause? Have you ever asked yourself that before? Like, have you ever genuinely sat down to think about it? I want to kind of break it down so, you know, when you see someone else that has something that you really want, you kind of start to feel all these feelings of like jealousy, insecurity. It happens to the best of us instead of just kind of stewing those feelings and letting them get the best of you and letting them steal, you know, days and hours out of our day and letting it steal this precious energy out of your day. I want you to take a minute to ask yourself, why are you even feeling this way? Like maybe you're comparing yourself to them because you feel like you're not good enough or you feel like you don't have as much as them. That's okay. We all have insecurities, but the key is to identify why, Like, where is that coming from and work on addressing that specific issue. So instead of just focusing on the fact that someone else has, you know, a really nice purse, ask yourself like, why am I so fixated on this? Why am I so fixated on their house or their car or whatever it is that you're seeing? Maybe it's because you feel like you're not as successful enough to afford something like that. Or maybe you're feeling like you're not stylish, stylish enough to pull it off. Whatever the reason is, try to get to the root of it so that you can start working on building up your confidence in that specific area. One thing that I do oftentimes is when I try to address the root cause, I bring God into the equation like I'm a faithful, even Christian. I believe that God is with us every single second of every single day. And he wants us to bring those things to him so that he can show us the truth and he can give us the love that we need. Because ultimately his love is enough. Right? But I think that also, when you address these deep root causes, it can save you so much time and it can also honestly save you so much money because instead of just blindly trying to keep up with the Jones, like, Oh, she got this, so I'm going to get this. Like, you can actually focus on what really matters to you and what you truly value. And also it can put things into proper perspective. Maybe you're in a season of life where you have been prioritizing savings, you're getting out of debt, and so you spending, you know, this this money on this purse or this outfit, like it's just not in the cards right now. And that's okay. I will never give you money advice. And I love a lot of things that he says, but there's some things that I don't agree with. But Dave Ramsey has genuinely changed my mindset around money. Especially like just kind of coming out of college and just having a bunch of debt. When I first got out of college, he just really helped me change my mindset around money and told me like, when you are able to prioritize saving and investing for your future. Like those critical years of you not, you know, going on these spending sprees like you will be able to live and give like nobody else in the future. And that's really cool to me. And that's something that I just remind myself of. Often times when I'm like, Oh man, you know, I really want this. And I'm like, Oh yeah, I spend the next year or two years or five years doing X, Y and Z. It can really set me and our family up for success long term. And that's ultimately what's going to bring me so much joy, is that I can live and give like nobody else in the future. So just really getting to the root cause I think is really important and just taking a step back and examining where those feelings are coming from will really help you a lot.
Number two, focus on collaboration over competition. I think that it's natural to feel a sense of competition when it comes to others in our personal our professional lives. We see others as rivals or someone who's standing in the way of our success. However, this mindset can really limit our potential and prevent us from achieving our goals. So instead of viewing others as rivals, we should start to see them as potential collaborators or mentors. Like when we collaborate and learn from each other, we can all grow and succeed. It's important to recognize that success is not a limited resource. Let me say that again. It's important to recognize that success is not a limited resource. Just because someone else is successful does not mean that we cannot be successful as well. In fact, by working together and learning from each other, we can create even more success for ourselves and for others. So rather than being jealous or pushing ourselves away from those who have achieved what we desire, we can actually learn from them. By studying their methods or asking for guidance. We can gain insight into how to achieve our own success, and we can also leverage their success to open up new opportunities for ourselves. So let's say, for example, you're interested in starting a business in a particular industry instead of viewing other businesses in that industry as rivals, you can see them as potential collaborators, reach out to them, ask them for guidance, may be able to learn from other people's experiences or gain insights into how to succeed in that specific industry. You may also be able to form partnerships that benefit both businesses like jealousy and this comp like competitive mindset. They do not and will not ever lead to success like true success, because if your success comes from you just being jealous and having this competitive mindset, it's just like losing weight when you think like, okay, when I get this size, I'm going to be happy and I want to be confident. But if you don't do it from a place of love and deep self respect, you're just doing it from a place of hatred in yourself. You're going to get to that way or you're going to get to that size and you're not you're not even going to know yourself. You're going to feel so low and you're going to get there and you're going to be like, Man, this is not what I thought. It's the same thing on this like constant strive to success. I believe that collaboration will always be the key. Like when we can work together, when we can learn from each other, when we can achieve more than we could have ever imagined together. And not that you have to be collaborative with every single person, but really just intentionally trying to shift our mindset from competition to collaboration and embrace the success that can come from working together or just being open to that and not coming at it with such a competitive mindset.
And then lastly, number three, congratulate others for having what you want. You heard me right, congratulate others for having what you want. So when you see others achieve what you desire, it's super easy to fall under this comparison trap. Like we feel inadequate. We feel envious. However, I believe, and I've seen in my life that there's a powerful shift that we can make in our mindset that actually helps us to overcome the comparison trap and move closer to achieving our goals by congratulating others, like genuinely congratulating others on their successes. When we congratulate others, we really shift our mindset from scarcity to abundance. And instead of feeling like there's only a limited amount of success or happiness to go around, we recognize that there's plenty of success to be had, and we can all achieve it in our own unique ways. Like this. Gratitude and this abundance mindset can really help us feel more positive and motivated to go about our own goals. I believe that when we have this abundance mindset, it can help you really get what you want by shifting your focus towards that possibility and that opportunity. And there's really no need to be jealous or compare yourself because there is enough to go around like there is enough to be, you know, her getting it and you getting it and someone else getting it. And I genuinely believe that God wants He wants us to be happy and fulfilled. And oftentimes when. Things don't go our way. I think we have this like one way or no way kind of mindset. And I just want to encourage someone out there listening that, you know, maybe the way that you thought that would get you success or the way that you thought would get you happiness or whatnot decided or turned out to not be what you thought. And it actually turned out to be maybe a failure in your path and you're just super discouraged and you're feeling like, man, like there's just no way to get to it. I will tell you that there are so many things in my life and in my business that I'm like, Oh, I'm going to do X, Y, and Z, and it's going to go this way. And then like five years later, looking back, I'm like, okay, that was totally not the way that I thought or envisioned it, but I ended up getting something better than I could have even imagined. Or I feel even more fulfilled than I could have ever imagined. And man, I just think looking back on it, like God knows what's best for us. And so if you're a faith believing Christian, trust that God's way is the best way and trust in his timing, trust that he has a purpose for the pain that you're going through right now and trust that maybe whatever you're going through right now, just know it's not the end. It might be the end of a season. It might be the end of something that you've been pursuing. But that closed door could be an opportunity to open up five other doors that you could have never even imagined. So I just want you to know that there are so many ways to go about things and there is so much room at the table for you to win as well. Jealousy is truly for those who aren't taking action. I believe that through and through. I believe that we fall into this jealous mindset when we are paralyzed, when we are constantly comparing ourselves. And we're not we're not looking at the gifts and talents and the resources that God has given us right now. Instead, we're so fixated on everybody else and we're paralyzed and we're not taking action. Whereas when you believe that there is a seat at the table, when you believe if there is a will, there's a way, you're going to find a way. I believe that so much abundance just opens up in your mind and opportunities present themselves and you'll just be amazed at what comes from that. So I want to leave you with these three things to remind you the next time you start comparing yourself to other number one, there is enough room in the world for everyone else is beauty, success, happiness. So don't think just because someone else is beautiful or successful or happy, it makes you less beautiful, successful, or happy when you notice and appreciate someone else's beauty. I promise it will not take away from your beauty, your success, your happiness. Number two, whoever is life you think is way better than yours, or whoever's life you wish that you were living it. You don't now. You've never lived their life. You've never lived a day in their shoes. So why are you so sure that it is better than yours? Because in reality, you genuinely have no idea. You're going off a complete assumption and allowing it to ruin how you are experiencing your own life. So just quit assuming. And number three, I believe that we are all created by the same God, which means that the beauty that you see in this woman, the happiness that you see in this woman, she was beautifully and wonderfully created by the same creator who loves you and created you. And so stop comparing yourself with that because the same beauty, the same craftsmanship that you see in someone else that's inside of you, too, God created you too. And so don't forget that. Let me quickly recap those three unconventional ways to overcome the comparison. Game Number one Explore the root cause of your need to compare in the first place. Number two, focus on collaboration rather than competition. And number three, congratulate others for what you want. If you love this episode, I know you will also love Episode 2035 Swaps for the woman who is struggling with comparison. I will link that in the show notes below, but please hear me when I say it is not worth wasting a minute of your day comparing yourself to someone else's highlight reel. You're comparing your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel. You're wasting time, you're wasting energy. I know that. So easier said than done, but really start to dig deep and ask yourself the hard questions as to why you're spending so much time comparing yourself. Because that precious time and energy that you are spending, comparing yourself could be devoted to developing further gifts and talents that you have been blessed with or opportunities that are in your path that maybe you're not pursuing because you're scared of failure, you're scared of you have imposter syndrome, whatever it is. So I hope that this pep talk helped you. I love you. I am cheering for you so freaking hard right now. I say hug every single one of you guys and just shake you and. Look you in your eyes and tell you that you are amazing. You are created for so many beautiful things and God has so much in store for you. So I love you so much. That's all that I have for today's episode. I mean it. I'll talk to you next time.
All right, sister. That's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so. Julie. A Ledbetter. Yes. It's with an A in the middle for that daily post about real talk, healthy tips and tricks and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me and means The Absolute World. And I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace the real because you're worth it.