3 Unpopular Truths You Need to Hear
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In this episode of the Embrace Your Real podcast, I show up as that best friend that tells you what you don’t want to hear but you know you need to hear. I have three unpopular truths I dive into with you today, because I know these three things can be holding you back in both your fitness journey and in your life in general. So stayed tuned because I know you will leave this episode with a new perspective on your goals. I’m about to give you some tough love, are you ready for it? Let’s get it, let’s go!
If you loved this episode, be sure to check out…
Episode: How I Dealt With Gaining 40 Pounds
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TRANSCRIPT:
Hey, hey, beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real, with me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to embrace your real. Let's get it. Let's go.
Hello. Hello and welcome back to another bonus episode of the Embrace Your Real podcast. I am so incredibly grateful that you are here spending some time with you today. I am about to give you some tough sisterly love. Are you ready for it? I'm going to show up today and be the best friend that tells you the stuff that you don't want to hear, but the stuff that you know you need to hear. And so in today's episode, I have three unpopular truths that I'm going to dive into with you today, because I know these three things can be holding you back either in your health and fitness journey or your life in general. So stay tuned because I know you'll leave this episode with a new perspective on your goals. But before I do, I wanted to share this super sweet review. It comes from Pam1963Reed.
She gave a five star view and said, "I learned to embrace myself. Thank you, Julie, for showing me a different way to look at food and life. I'm tired of dieting and being such a Debbie downer. I appreciate your real self." I love this so much, Pam, thank you so much for your review. If you haven't already rated and reviewed the podcast, you already know what I'm going to ask you to. Do scooch over to Apple Podcast, type in Embrace Your Real. And you can click that rating and review section. It is at the bottom and it takes less than 25 seconds, but it really does help us out in the podcast world.
If you do, please screenshot it, send it to me in a direct message on Instagram. We love connecting with you guys. We love personally thanking you. So thank you in advance for doing it. Let's dive into the bonus episode. Number one, you are incredibly perfect, just the way you are, but there are always changes that could be made. Now, I don't know. I'm sure you've likely seen this. There is a movement going on that has been going on for a while that focuses on loving ourselves, just the way that we are. And of course, I think that's great. I think that we should love ourselves in the way that God has made us and that we should be thankful for all of the ways that God has made us unique and different. And of course, embrace our real, thus the name of this podcast and my mantra for life. But I don't think that we should just learn to love ourselves and stay where we are. I don't think we're created for that. I think that we should always be working to better ourselves.
We should, like I've mentioned in a ton of episodes recently, like be a student of life. We are extraordinary human beings who are capable of incredible things and even more incredible things when we allow God to use us for his glory in multiple different areas. And I don't think that we should just settle for who we are right now and what we're doing right now. We can love ourselves for who we are right now, but we can still be working to improve ourselves. We can always improve. I think that there is always room to be better, to do better, to seek to kind of see someone else's perspective, to explore our potential. Right? So to me, you are perfect the way that you are, you don't need to change. In my opinion, that's a cop out. I think that we're limiting our ability to live an amazing life and to do extraordinary things, right?
I think personally that you're doing a disservice to yourself by saying that. And I think that we can, and we should love ourselves for who we are right now and who God has made us to be, but we can also love who we evolve into. And if we truly do love ourselves and we truly do see purpose in our life on earth, then we will push ourselves to be better and to live up to our true potential. Because if we love ourselves, we want what's best for ourselves, right? And more importantly, like if we love God, we know that God wants our best and he has our best in mind. And so why would we limit ourselves to that and why wouldn't we do whatever we can to make sure that we are constantly growing, because here's the thing. Maybe the you right now isn't nourishing your body with what it needs.
You're not being a good steward of fueling your body properly. Maybe you aren't honoring your body with movement. Maybe you are sitting on your dreams and you're not doing anything to chase them. Should you just learn to love where you are and stay there forever? No, you need to learn to love yourself. And when you love yourself, you will do what is best for yourself. And what is best for yourself is likely going to involve growing and working towards reaching your fullest potential. Now, will you have everything figured out by tomorrow? Absolutely not. But I think that it starts with taking a single step. It starts with taking yourself out of your comfort zone, doing something that maybe you've always wanted to do, but you've been so terrified to do.
One thing that I've always said on this podcast is that when you take action, you actually gain confidence. And when you gain confidence, that actually cures fear. So if you have the fear of putting yourself out there, the fear of doing something or even the fear of failure, failure can be our biggest opportunities. I always say, fail fast, succeed sooner, right? Because failure is inevitable along the way of success. And so the sooner that you can fail, the sooner that you can succeed and you'll have more knowledge than before because of your experience. Same thing happens when you are scared and you're fearful and you just put yourself out there anyways, and you just take the action. And in taking that step and taking that action, you will find yourself being less and less scared of whatever it is that you were scared in the first place.
So just remember on this journey of you improving yourself and looking at your life with an honest lens and saying, where are the areas that I can grow? I want you to celebrate every single day of it. I want you to celebrate the ups, the downs, and I want you to be grateful for all of it. Because even on our worst days, we have something to be grateful for. I guarantee it. And even in our worst seasons, just remember that you will not always be in that season forever. And when you come out of that season, you will have so much more knowledge and expertise and wisdom that you have gained from that season. So that season will never be a waste. If you are in one of those Debbie downer seasons, or you're just in a really tough season right now, please hear my words when I say that this will not be forever. And when you do come out of this, not if, but when you do come out of this, you will come out stronger and having more wisdom and experience that will serve you for the lifetime ahead of you.
Number two, if you are struggling to change, it is likely because you aren't 100% in the game. So a lot of people feel super confused why they aren't changing or why they aren't seeing results or why they aren't improving certain aspects of their life. They just don't understand why. They say that they're doing everything and it's just not working, but here's the truth. Maybe they're doing everything, but they're not doing it consistently. Is that you? And I'm talking to myself too, right? There are times where I'm like, oh, it's just not changing. And then Josh will be like, "Well, have you been doing it consistently? Like how long have you been doing it?" And I'm like, "Three days." And he is like, "Okay, let's shoot for a week. And let's get to the end of that week. And let's evaluate and let's go for another week and then get to the end of that week, evaluate and go for another week."
It is showing up day in and day out, right? If you want to build the body that you want for example. I see so many women complaining that it's impossible for them to build the body that they want. But at the end of the day, they're overindulging every weekend. They're skipping two to three workouts a week. They aren't consistently counting their macros or fueling their body optimally. They aren't increasing the volume or intensity of their workouts. They're just not doing it consistently. There are so many different aspects. Maybe they're crushing it in two out of the four areas, but just remember it takes all these different things in the equation to work together to build a body that you want. So maybe in their mind, they're like, but I'm doing everything right. But on paper, AKA in reality, they aren't actually as invested as they think they are.
And that's why it's really important to document your progress, to have an accountability partner or have an accountability group that you show up to that you can say like, hey, these are my goals. And I need an accountability person to help me hold me accountable. Because the fact of the matter is you can change. It is very realistic to do, but you need to put in the work and you need to be consistent. And if you aren't seeing the results that you want, then you need to be honest with yourself about how hard you are actually trying and how consistent you are actually being. Are you trying as hard as you think you are? Are you actually being as consistent as you think you are? When you get it down on paper, you'll realize likely you aren't. And that's why you aren't seeing results. So you need to have that hard, yet honest conversation with yourself. And you need to be willing to admit that you maybe aren't giving your 100%.
Number three, I know you think being skinnier or leaner will make you happier because trust me, this was me for a decade plus of my life. But in fact, it will likely make you unhappier. Usually when people are on this quest of becoming super skinny or forcing their body into something that it's not, it requires them to do a lot to keep up with this body because it just isn't natural for them. They have to work out for crazy long hours. They have to eat as little calories as possible. They have to cut out their favorite foods. They have to avoid certain food groups. And let's be real. When you are spending all of your free time at your gym, depriving yourself of food and feeling constantly hungry and hangry all the time, dreading your next workout, life isn't fun and you aren't happy.
You likely aren't happy also because you are constantly living in guilt. You're feeling guilty for eating too much. You're feeling guilty for skipping a workout. You're feeling guilty for not working out hard enough or feeling guilty for not eating perfectly. You're guilty for literally everything in your life. And when you feel like this, then you feel like you need to punish yourself by working out harder and eating less. Sure, your body, your shell, your outside shell might look great, but is it actually worth it? Is it worth not having time to do the things that you love? Is it worth not having the energy to do the things that you love? Is it worth not being able to enjoy the date night or the girls' night? Is it worth missing out on fun things because you have to go to the gym or you have to do X, Y, and Z?
And I'm not saying that you can't have both. You absolutely can. You 100% can. But what I'm saying is when you feel like you need to be at the gym for hours upon hours upon hours, that's not sustainable. Precisely why I say you can truly get real results by working out 30 minutes a day four to five times a week. You could even get results working out 30 minutes a day, three times a week. But if you really are serious, you have some goals, 30 minutes a day, four to five times a week, that's truly all that you need when you are falling in effective program, especially when it comes to working out. You can see results. You can. It is possible. You don't have to deprive yourself of your favorite foods. You don't have to spend these hours doing cardio and doing all of these things at the gym.
More cardio, more time at the gym does not always equal effective, right? Quality over quantity, quality over quantity. I'm speaking from experience because when I was the skint and leanest that I ever have been, I was also the unhappiness that I ever have been. And here's the thing. You will never reach an end point. And I know this because this was me. You will always think that you need to be skinnier. You will always think that you need to be leaner or toner, or you're not strong enough or whatever it is. It's never enough, no matter how skinny you are, no matter how skinny you think you need to be. You're never enough. It's a never ending cycle that you can't get out of. I actually talked about this recently on the podcast, but I have personally gained 40 plus pounds since starting my fitness journey.
And it has been the best 40 pounds I have ever gained. I've said this before, and I will keep saying it because I know you need to keep hearing it, but I would rather weigh more and enjoy my life more than way less and enjoy my life less. Let me say that again. I would rather weigh more and enjoy my life more than weigh less and enjoy my life less. I only have one life in this body and I want to make the most of it. I don't want to waste my life obsessing about being skinny, obsessing about being the smallest version of myself that's just a forced version that's not realistic. This is not the purpose of my life. This is not why God has placed me on this earth. And it is not why God has placed you on this earth. I promise you.
I can promise you that your purpose is far greater than how skinny you think you need to be. All of this to say that I need you to stop thinking that being skinnier is the answer for you being happier because it's not. Do not fall for this. Sure. Taking care of your body, moving your body, nourishing your body will and can make you happier, but obsessing about weight loss and drastic measures to get there will not make you happier, plain and simple. Okay. So there you have it. There is all the tough love that I have for you today. Let me quickly recap these unpopular truths that I think, and I know, that you needed to hear today. Number one, you are incredibly amazing just the way that you are, but there is always room for improvement. Number two, if you're struggling to change, it's because you aren't 100% in the game. Be honest with yourself and have that conversation.
And number three, I know you might think being leaner or skinnier will make you happier, but in fact, it quite possibly could be the worst thing that you do and can make you a lot happier than you are right now. If you love this episode, I know you'll also love episode 162, how I dealt with gaining 40 plus pounds. I think that this episode will change your perspective on weight. So be sure to tune in, I will go and link that in the show notes that you can easily go listen. That is all that I have for you today, sister. I hope you know that I love you so much that I share these things with you. Like sometimes the people that we love say things to us and we're like, oh, that freaking hurt, but I know that I needed to hear it.
So I hope that maybe this podcast was one of those things for you. You were like, dang, that really hurt. Like, dang, you're talking straight to me, but I really needed to hear it. If so, I would love to know. You can screenshot this and post it up on your Instagram story. Be sure to tag me, Julia Ledbetter, as well as Embrace Your Real. We love connecting with you. And if you have another sister that you're like, hey sis, I love you so much. Here's some real talk. It's some tough love that I'm not going to share, but I'm going to have somebody else share to you. You can copy the link and send it to them in a text message or you could also tag them once you post it up on your story and say, hey, tune into this. I would love to hear your thoughts. Again, I love you so, so much. I hope you know that. And I'll talk to you in the next one.
All right, sister, that's all I got for you today, but I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so, JulieALedbetter. Yes, it's with an A in the middle for that daily post workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks, and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcast to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world. And I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace your real because you're worth it.