9 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self
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Most of you know my story, but I had an unhealthy relationship with my body for almost a decade…A DECADE.
That's 10 years of hating my body and punishing my body. 10 years of lacking confidence and drowning in unhappiness and defining myself by what my body looks like. YIKES.
What I would give to go back and talk to my younger self and tell her what I know now...
What I would give to save her from the years of misery and struggle and punishment and hopelessness...
In this episode, I share the things that I wish I could tell my younger self in hopes of helping you avoid making the same mistakes my younger self made and break the beliefs that my younger self believed wholeheartedly.
And if you loved this episode, then I know you will also love…
Episode 87: Real Talk on Hating Your Body
In the hardest times, I destroyed my body for a peace of mind I never got. I punished my body, I hated my body, and I destroyed my body.
But for what? Why did I do all of that? To still feel dissatisfied? To still hate my body? To still wish it were different?
Because let’s be real, that’s how we still feel, no matter the progress we’ve made. We never have any peace of mind.
So how do we find the peace of mind we’re searching for? That’s exactly what I dive into in this 5-minute bonus episode of Embrace Your Real!
TRANSCRIPT:
Hey, hey, beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned. If you're ready to embrace your real, let's get. Let's go.
Hello, and welcome back to another bonus episode of the Embrace Your Real podcast. So grateful that you are here spending some time with me today. What does it actually look like to accept your body? I think many of us think it's impossible to accept our bodies for what they are, simply because we don't actually know what body acceptance is and what it looks like. And so that's why in this episode, I'm going to be sharing all things body acceptance and give you some practical tips and what it isn't and what it is.
But before I dive in, I wanted to share this review of the day. It comes from [MFisher019 00:01:04]. She gave a five-star review and it said, "Love. Since my coach recommended listening to your podcast, I now look forward to it every day. Post-workout listening to you just keeps my mindset going in the right direction. By far the best podcast I've listened to." Thank you so much for this review. It's an honor that you said that.
And if you haven't and already left a review on Apple Podcast, you can go to the podcast app on any Apple device. It could be a MacBook, an iPad, an iPhone. Type in Embrace Your Real. First, make sure you click that plus sign in the top right corner. That's going to make sure that you are subscribed to the show so that you never miss an episode when they release on Monday and Thursdays. And also, if you could scroll all the way down and leave a rating and review, that just helps us spread the message of this podcast to more women. It also helps people when they find the podcast page to look at the reviews, and it just helps them listen if it's something that would help them.
And I believe that this podcast really does benefit all women all across the world. Our goal is to educate and empower them. And so if you could do that, that would really help us out. If you do, please screenshot it and then send it to me in a direct message on Instagram, and I will personally respond back in a voice memo. I love, love, love connecting with you guys.
Before I dive into like nitty-gritty and the practical tips of body acceptance, I actually just finished the book called Beauty Begins. It's by Chris and Megan Shook. It's a mom and daughter. And I wanted to share a part out of chapter five, and it's called The Daily Battle.
And in this chapter, she's talking about the first time that she went to go see the Mona Lisa in real life. And she says, "At first glance, my untrained eye didn't see the value of the Mona Lisa. Maybe you feel as though no one sees your value or true worth, or maybe you're even having a hard time seeing it for yourself. Perhaps it seems that all things that you're doing are small, insignificant, mundane, ordinary and plain, but God says that you're a work of art. You're a priceless work of art. In fact, no one can put a price tag on how valuable you are."
And I wanted to share this, first of all, because this is one of the first times that I read Beauty Begins from start to finish altogether in a week. And I've always read chapters of this book but you guys, this book is so, so good. I will link it in the show notes.
If you are struggling with body image and just trying to see yourself through the way that God sees you... And if this is your first time tuning in, I am a faith-believing Christian. I believe that we are called to accept our bodies and look at our bodies through the lens that God sees us beautifully and wonderfully made. And so I wanted to get us into that mindset here before we talk about the practical.
Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus so we can do the good things he has planned for us long ago." We have to choose to agree with God that we are priceless, utter masterpieces. It is a fact that we are beautiful and priceless. We just have to choose to believe this truth.
And as we're on this journey of accepting our bodies and maybe looking at our bodies for the first time ever or in a long time through the lens of Christ, it's important to saturate our brains with truth. So whether that's scripture like the one that I just read above, Ephesians 2:10, or short notes or sayings that remind you of who you are and, more importantly, whose you are, I have found that to be so super helpful when it comes to fighting Satan's lies.
Because as long as you're connected to God, you can do this. You can overcome the tormenting thoughts of the devil, and you can feel satisfied with yourself and who God made you to be because you are absolutely beautiful, but you just have to choose that today.
So I wanted to preface that first because first and foremost, yes, practical advice, as always, can be super helpful, but I single-handedly think that this has been the most transformative thing when it comes to just looking at myself through the eyes of God and through the eyes of love and seeing myself the way that God sees me.
And of course, I'm not perfect. Of course, I have days where I struggle, and that's where I think that this practical advice that I'm about to share with you can be super helpful with you and for you. But just remember that ultimately, I believe we're here on this earth for a reason.
I believe that God has placed us here for a reason, and we are called to love God first and serve others second. And then third, we're here to steward our bodies and steward our lives well. And so I just wanted to preface that first so that we can get our heart in that posture. And just knowing that that has ultimately transformed my relationship with myself the most is seeing myself through the lens that God says I am and choosing to believe that.
Okay, so going more into the practical advice, so here's what body acceptance is not. It is not saying that you're in love the way that your body looks. It's not saying that you love every part of your body. It's not that there aren't parts of your body that you don't want to change.
I mean, we're human. Ideally, we don't want to think that but we do, right? It's not saying that you have to be positive about your body all the time. Like I said, we're human. No matter how hard we try, it's not going to be real and authentic for you to always be positive of about how the way that your body looks.
So if this isn't what body acceptance means, what does it actually mean? So here are some of the practical things of what I think that body acceptance actually means.
Number one, body acceptance means that you're living comfortably in your body. Even though your body may not be exactly what you want it to be, you're still comfortable in your body. Sure, you have a few stomach rolls. Maybe it's not your favorite, but you realize that it's normal for you to have those. And these rolls don't say anything about who you are or whose you are. You accept them for what they are.
So this can be said, honestly, for any part of your body, like having cellulite, having bigger legs, having bigger arms, having different part of your body. That's normal. That's the way that God created it, and so I don't want you to hold yourself to some unrealistic body standard.
But it's important to note that you can absolutely work to change parts of your body and steward your body well. I don't think that that's bad. I don't think that's shaming yourself. That doesn't mean that you can't also accept those parts of your body.
In fact, I think that when you have the proper view of your body and you see yourself as God's masterpiece, you want to steward your body well and you want to make sure that you are able to do the work that God has called you to do in whatever that is. Whether you're a mom, you're an aunt, you're a daughter, you're a co-worker, whatever the different roles, a wife, a sister, a friend, all of those different roles that you play every day and the hobbies that you have, you want to do things well. And so I don't think that it's bad to want to change your body. And I think that when you do go to change your body, it's so much more effective if you do it out of a place of love.
I love my body so much and I want to steward my body well to the point where I have these goals that I set. So I think that that can be a hard thing that people have a hard time grasping. They think that if they go and change something, then that doesn't mean that they don't accept it for what it is. But I think that you can find that balance, and you can absolutely accept where it's at with also having that desire to change something.
Number two, body acceptance means that sure, you have some bad body image days, but you don't let those days consume you. You realize that it's not realistic to always feel positive about your body.
Like I said, we're human. We're fallen. We wake up days and we just don't feel our best. And you realize that you're not going to wake up and look in the mirror and absolutely love what you see every single morning.
I mean, I hope we do. Prayerfully, I feel like we can get to a place where we look at ourselves through the lens of Christ and the way that He sees us, but we're still going to have those thoughts.
And so how can we change the narrative of the negative thoughts that we might be having about our body? Instead of saying, "I feel fat today," you can say things like, "I may feel fat, but that doesn't mean I am fat," or "I may feel fat, but that's not what other people see when they look at me," or "That's not what God sees when He looks at me. He doesn't care. This is an earthly body. I may feel fat today, but I choose to not waste any energy on it," or "I may feel fat today, but I know my feelings about my body are always changing. And this feeling can pass." And just saturate your mind and your heart with truth and just remembering that you absolutely 100% can change the narrative.
In fact, who else is? If we don't change the narrative, nobody else is going to do that for us because nobody else is living inside of our head.
And number three, body acceptance means that you may see your body for what it is without judgment. So let's say that you've gained some weight. Instead of trying to hide your weight gain or trying to work it off super fast or having to hyper focus on the weight that you've gained, instead you just accept it. You say, "I've gained some weight. It is what it is. I'm not going to beat myself up. There's so much to life other than my weight," which first of all, I hope that you're not monitoring your progress by the scale alone.
In fact, I honestly think that if you struggle with the scale, throw it out. There's no need for it. There's so many other ways to monitor your or progress, but that's a different topic for a different day.
Just know that you can get back to those healthy habits. And when you do, the weight will take care of itself. I have come to find in my 31 years of life, that life has ebbs and flows, and my body is going to ebb and flow with it. And just because I maybe gained a few pounds or I feel a little heavier, I'm not fitting as well jeans that I normally do, that's not permanent. I'm not going to stress out about it. I just need to get back to being consistent with nourishing and moving my body.
So today, my hope and prayer is that you just take one step closer towards body acceptance. It could be a simple prayer and asking God to help you see yourself the way that He sees you. It could be a simple sticky note reminder or scripture that you'll see every day, whether that's on a mirror that you brush your teeth in every day or on your car speedometer. Whatever it is that you will see every single day. It could be walking up to yourself in the mirror and naming three things out loud that you're going to choose to see beautifully and wonderfully today. But it all true starts with a single step, not just thinking about taking a step, it starts with actually taking the step.
But it doesn't mean that you have to go a mile. It doesn't mean that you have to go five miles. It means that you take one step every single day. And when you do that and when you choose to show up intentionally, you guys, it can truly change the way that you show up in your life.
And if you're struggling to see your true beauty, I just want to encourage you to get that book that I mentioned earlier. It's called Beauty Begins by Chris and Megan Shook. It's on my Amazon storefront, which I will link in the show notes below. I'll link the direct book. But if you go to the link in my bio on my Instagram, you can click on the Amazon storefront and then you'll see my books and my book recommendations, which I will be adding a ton more. I just didn't have time when I was initially setting it up. But Beauty Begins by Megan and Chris Shook, S-H-O-O-K. It's such an amazing read and really just reminds you of who you are and whose you are and to see yourself through that light.
If you love this episode and you want to hear more about this topic on my podcast, I do have another podcast episode called Body Neutrality Vs Body Positivity and Why You Need to Know the Difference. That's episode 45. And I'll go ahead and link that in the show notes as well so that you can go listen.
At the end of the day, please remember that you are so beautiful. I'm going to finish with Ephesians 2:10, which is what I started out this podcast with.
"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus so we can go and do the good things that He has planned for us long ago." Saturate your mind. Saturate your heart with that truth today, and just know that you can overcome those tormenting thoughts from the devil when you are connected to God.
I hope that this episode encouraged you. I hope that it inspired you in some way. If you have a girlfriend or a sister or some woman in your life that you feel like would really benefit from this episode, you can copy the link and send it to them in a text message. You can also screenshot this and post it up on your Instagram story so that you can share it with your circle of influence.
I love you so much. I mean it. And I will talk to you in the next episode.
All right, sister. That's all I got for you today, but I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so, @juliealedbetter, yes it's with an A in the middle, for that daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcast to never miss an episode.
Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world. And I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface, so go out there and embrace your real because you're worth it.