What happens when you chase too many goals

 

Have you ever looked at your life and felt like you should be doing better in every single area?

You want to stay consistent with your workouts, eat well, be present with your family, show up at work, keep your home together, grow as a person, take care of your relationships, and somehow not feel completely drained by all of it.

And when one area starts slipping, it can feel like you are the problem.

But what if the problem is not your discipline?

In this bonus episode of Embrace Your Real, we are talking about the pressure to chase too many goals at once and why it can make you feel like you are failing even when you are actually trying so hard. If you have been feeling behind, overwhelmed, or like you can never do enough, this episode is going to help you look at your goals in a completely different way.

What’s Discussed:

  • Why feeling behind does not always mean you need to try harder

  • How to recognize when you are expecting too much from yourself at once

  • Why one area of life may need to take priority for a season

  • How “good enough for now” can give you room to breathe

  • Why narrowing your focus can help you feel less guilty and more present

  • How to decide what matters most in this chapter of your life

If you loved this episode, you’ll also love Episode 474: Overcoming Unrealistic Expectations of Yourself. It is the perfect next listen if you are ready to stop holding yourself to standards no real woman could live up to. 

If you want more from me, be sure to check out…

Transcript

(0:00) Hey, hey beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you (0:06) but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter.

(0:13) I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. (0:19) Stay tuned if you're ready to Embrace Your Real. Let's get it, let's go! (0:32) Hello and welcome back to another bonus episode on the Embrace Your Real podcast.

(0:36) Today's going to be a short one but I need you to hear it because I think it's going to give you the permission slip that you've been waiting for. (0:41) And honestly, it might be one of the most liberating things that I've talked about on the podcast. (0:46) I want to talk about goals today, specifically what happens when you have too many of them at once (0:50) and why chasing all of them at the same time is not making you more successful.

(0:55) It's actually making you feel like you're constantly failing. (0:57) Before we dive in though, I want to share this review. She gave a five-star review and said practical and empowering.

(1:03) Thank you, Julie, for putting these important truths into tangible and empowering tools for us to use. (1:08) You've helped me more than you could know. The mantras you give us are easily incorporated into my thought habits and action habits.

(1:14) I love this so much. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to send in this review. (1:18) I really appreciate every single one of your guys's reviews.

They do mean the world to me. (1:22) And also just kind of know how maybe a specific episode or the podcast in general helps you. (1:27) So if you could scooch over to Apple Podcasts and leave a rating interview, that would mean the absolute world to me and our team.

(1:32) All right. Let's just dive in and talk about what happens when you chase too many goals. (1:36) I actually have five important points that I want to share with, but let's start with point number one.

(1:42) Chasing too many goals at once is really setting you up to feel like you're constantly letting yourself down. (1:47) And I want to be really clear about something right off the bat. (1:49) That feeling of always being behind, always falling short, always just not being enough or doing enough.

(1:56) That's not a you problem. It's not a discipline problem. It's not a motivation problem.

(2:00) It's a math problem. Plain and simple. Think about everything that you're trying to excel at right now.

(2:06) Your fitness goals, your nutrition goals, your parenting goals, your career goals, your relationship goals, (2:10) your personal growth goals, your financial goals, your home goals. (2:14) The to-do list never ends, and all of it is competing for the same limited hours, the same limited energy, (2:20) and the same limited capacity that you have in 24 hours. (2:24) It is actually impossible to be excelling at all of those things at the exact same time, right? (2:29) Not hard, not challenging, but impossible.

And when you set yourself up with that expectation (2:35) that you should be crushing every single one of your life and in every single area simultaneously, (2:40) you are guaranteeing that you will feel like you are failing somewhere, somehow, every single day. (2:45) And that feeling, you guys, is exhausting and it's not the truth. (2:49) Point number two, when you are excelling in one area of life, something else will naturally take a backseat.

(2:55) And that's not a failure. That's just how life works. (2:58) The season when you are completely locked into your fitness, you're hitting your workouts, (3:02) you're tracking your macros, you're feeling strong, you're feeling consistent, (3:04) might be the season where your house is a little bit messier than usual (3:08) or your career goals are a little bit on the slow burner.

(3:11) The season where you are deeply present as a mom, showing up for every moment, every need, (3:16) every middle of the night wake up. (3:17) That might be the season where your workouts are just maintenance (3:20) and your nutrition is just pretty good. (3:23) The season where you're pouring everything into building something at work (3:26) might be the season that you're doing bare minimum everywhere else.

(3:30) And all of that is okay. All of that is normal. (3:32) And all of that is just what it looks like to be a real human (3:35) with real limitations, living a real full life.

(3:38) The problem is not that you can't do it all. (3:41) The problem is that you are expecting yourself, (3:44) that you should be doing all of it at the same time. (3:47) Point number three, the expectation that you should be excelling (3:50) everything all the time is what is making you feel behind.

(3:54) Not your effort, not your discipline, the expectation. (3:57) This one is the one that I really want you to sit with because (4:00) so many women are walking around carrying this invisible standard (4:03) that says I should be doing more, I should be further along, (4:07) I should be better at this by now. (4:08) And they're measuring themselves against some version of themselves (4:11) that is simultaneously a present and engaged mother, (4:15) a high performing professional, a consistent athlete, (4:17) a devoted partner, a great friend, a clean and organized homemaker, (4:21) a woman who has her nutrition completely dialed in.

(4:24) And that woman does not exist. (4:25) And chasing her is stealing your joy every single day. (4:29) You are not behind, you are just human.

(4:31) And humans can truly only focus on a handful of things at a time. (4:35) That's not a weakness, that is just a reality. (4:38) Point number four, the most powerful thing that you can do right now (4:41) is decide what actually matters in this season (4:44) and give yourself permission to let everything else be good enough for now.

(4:48) Not forever, just for now, just for this season. (4:51) So I want you to ask yourself, what is the one area of my life (4:55) that I want to pour into right now? (4:57) What is the thing that if I really focused on it, (4:59) it would make the biggest difference? (5:01) What is the goal that really matters most in this chapter (5:05) in this month of your life right now? (5:06) And then I want you to give that thing your real energy, (5:09) not the leftover energy that you have tried to do with everything else, (5:13) your actual best energy, and let the other areas of your life (5:17) just run on maintenance mode for a little while. (5:19) Good enough, not perfect, just good enough.

(5:21) Because good enough in nine other areas of your life (5:24) is so much more sustainable than constantly failing at all 10 of them (5:28) because you refuse to prioritize one of them the most. (5:32) And point number five, when you narrow your focus, (5:35) everything changes. (5:36) You're less guilty, you have more progress, (5:39) you have more presence, you have more joy.

(5:40) When you stop trying to win at everything, (5:42) you actually start winning at something. (5:44) And that feeling, the feeling of real genuine progress (5:47) in one area that you actually care about in your life (5:51) is so much more satisfying than the constant spin (5:54) of trying to do it all and feeling like you're doing none of it well. (5:57) You are allowed to have one season where fitness is the priority.

(6:01) You are allowed to have a season where your family is your number one priority. (6:05) You are allowed to have a season where your career is the priority. (6:08) None of those seasons are failures.

(6:10) Those are just chapters. (6:11) And the most successful, most fulfilled women that I know (6:14) are not the ones that try to do everything at once. (6:17) They're the ones who knew what season they were in (6:19) and fully showed up for that.

(6:21) All right, let's do a quick recap. (6:23) Number one, chasing too many goals at once, (6:25) that's a math problem, not a you problem. (6:27) You cannot excel at everything simultaneously, (6:30) and expecting yourself too is really setting you up (6:33) to feel like you are constantly failing.

(6:35) Number two, when you are excelling in one area, (6:38) everything else will naturally take a backseat. (6:40) That is not failure, that is just real life. (6:43) Number three, the expectation that you should be doing it all (6:46) is what is making you feel behind.

(6:48) Not your effort, the expectation. (6:50) Number four, decide what matters most in this season (6:53) and give everything else permission to be good enough for now. (6:57) And last but not least, number five, (6:59) when you narrow your focus, you will feel less guilt.

(7:02) You will feel more progress, you will feel more presence, (7:04) you will feel more joy, and that is the whole thing. (7:07) And if right now your focus is fitness, (7:09) if this is a season where you are really ready (7:11) to pour into taking care of your body, (7:13) I want to make sure that you have the two tools (7:16) that will make the most simple (7:17) and effective results as possible. (7:20) Number one, Movement With Julie, (7:22) that is going to give you your workout plan.

(7:24) You have five brand new workouts every single week. (7:26) You have a 30 or 60 minute option. (7:29) Literally all you need is a few pair of dumbbells in a small space.

(7:32) You just show up, you just hit play, (7:34) and you follow each movement. (7:35) There's video demonstrations for every single movement. (7:38) This is a go at your own pace style program.

(7:40) I love this because you're able to listen to (7:43) whatever audio books or podcasts or music you want to. (7:46) Really just head down and focus on the movement (7:49) instead of trying to constantly feel (7:51) like you're keeping up with some sort of YouTube video (7:54) or workout video. (7:55) So that's why I love the go at your own pace (7:57) because you really are able to speed it up (8:01) or slow it down however much you need that day.

(8:04) Number two is the Macro County Made Simple. (8:06) This is going to give you your nutrition plan. (8:09) It's a clear, simple framework for you to fuel your body (8:12) in a way that actually supports your goals (8:13) without the overwhelm.

(8:15) So if you're ready for that, (8:16) you can head to macrocountymadesimple.com. (8:19) Again, that's macrocountymadesimple.com. (8:21) And if you're ready for the Movement With Julie workouts, (8:23) you can go to sale, S-A-L-E.movementwithjulie.com. (8:27) If you're a brand new subscriber, (8:28) you get 50% off your first month. (8:30) And if you are a returning subscriber, (8:32) you can always message me in the app. (8:34) I'll give you a exclusive discount (8:35) for returning subscribers if you're on monthly.

(8:38) Or if you want to sign up for annual, (8:40) you get four months for free there. (8:41) So many options there. (8:43) I will leave both of those links in the show notes below.

(8:45) But when you have a clear plan (8:47) for both focusing on your fitness this season (8:49) is really going to become so much simpler. (8:52) And simple is what actually makes things happen. (8:55) If this is something that you needed to hear, (8:56) I know you'll also love episode 474.

(8:59) It's really all about overcoming (9:01) the unrealistic expectations that you put on yourself. (9:04) And it picks up right where this episode kind of leaves off. (9:07) So I will link that in the show notes below (9:09) so that you can check that out.

(9:10) And if this episode resonated with you, (9:12) would you just share it with a friend (9:13) who might need to hear it today? (9:15) If you've not already left a review, (9:16) I would so appreciate it. (9:18) It really does help the podcast reach more women (9:20) who need these messages. (9:21) That is all for today's bonus episode.

(9:24) I love you so dang much. (9:25) Now go focus on what matters most right now (9:29) and give yourself grace for everything else. (9:31) Love you.

(9:40) All right, sister. (9:41) That's all I got for you today. (9:43) But I have two things that I need you to do.

(9:47) First thing, if you are not already following me on the Gram, (9:49) be sure to do so. (9:51) Julie A. Ledbetter. (9:52) Yes, it's with an A in the middle.

(9:53) For that daily post-workout real talk, (9:56) healthy tips and tricks, (9:58) and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. (10:01) The second thing, (10:02) be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts (10:04) to never miss an episode. (10:06) Thank you so much for joining me.

(10:09) It means the absolute world. (10:11) And I'm going to leave you with one last thought. (10:13) The most beautiful women that I have met in my life (10:16) are the ones who are completely confident and secure (10:19) in being authentically themselves.

(10:23) Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. (10:26) So go out there and embrace the real (10:28) because you're worth it.

 
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