+3 Things To Remember When You Feel Like You're Failing

 

If you’ve ever ended a day feeling like nothing went according to plan, like you dropped every ball you were trying to juggle, or like you somehow failed at taking care of yourself even though you tried, this episode is for you.

In this episode, I’m sharing a very honest heart-to-heart about those heavy days when motivation is low, energy is gone, and life feels overwhelming. I walk you through three grounding reminders I personally come back to when I feel stretched thin or disappointed in myself, along with simple, practical ways to steady yourself in the moment and keep moving forward without guilt or pressure.

This conversation is about perspective, grace, and learning how to stay connected to your goals without tying your worth to perfect days or productivity.

Here is what you will learn:

• Why one hard day, week, or even month does not undo the progress you’ve already built
• How unrealistic expectations quietly create feelings of failure
• The difference between failing and simply being human
• Why your worth has nothing to do with your output or consistency
• Simple grounding tools to use when you feel overwhelmed
• How to refocus on your deeper “why” during tough seasons
• A gentle reminder for moms navigating survival-mode days

If this episode resonated, you may also enjoy: Episode 280: 10 Truths About Your Self-Worth
https://www.juliealedbetter.com/embrace-your-real/10-truths-about-your-self-worth

If you want more from me, be sure to check out… 

Website: www.juliealedbetter.com

Transcript

 (0:00) Hey, hey, beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super (0:05) important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly (0:09) bonus episode of Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter.

I'm about to give you a quick tip for (0:14) building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. (0:19) Stay tuned if you're ready to embrace your real. Let's get it, let's go.

(0:33) Hello, and welcome back to another bonus episode on the Embrace Your Real podcast. I'm so glad (0:38) that you're here today. I want to just have a heart to heart with you about something that (0:42) doesn't get talked about enough.

Those days where nothing goes right and you feel like you're barely (0:46) holding it together, the days where you wake up with the best intentions, you're going to crush (0:50) your workout, you're going to hit your macros, you're going to get your work done, you're going (0:53) to be present with your kids, your family, maybe even meal prep for the week. You've got this whole (0:57) plan in your head and of how kind of the day's going to go. And then just life happens.

Maybe (1:03) your baby was up all night. Maybe work threw you a curve ball. Maybe you got stuck in traffic, (1:08) had a fight with your significant other, your family member, whatever it is.

You felt just (1:13) completely drained for no reason that you can pinpoint. The workout didn't happen. You're (1:17) eating whatever is quick and convenient.

You snap at someone you love. You go to bed just feeling (1:21) like you failed at literally everything. Here's the thing.

These days don't just happen once in a (1:26) while. Sometimes they can happen multiple days in a row. Sometimes it feels like an entire week or (1:30) month where you're just barely keeping your head above water.

If you've been there or if you're (1:36) there right now, this episode is for you. Now I've talked about self-worth overcoming unrealistic (1:41) expectations and really handling setbacks in other episodes. But today I want to share something a (1:46) little bit more personal.

And these are the three specific reminders I personally keep coming back (1:51) to when I feel like I'm just dropping all the balls. Even though I teach this stuff, even though (1:55) I know better, I still have those days where I need to remind myself of these truths. And I have (2:00) a feeling that if these are the ones that I come back to over and over again, they might be exactly (2:05) what you need to hear today as well.

So I'm not going to give you some fluffy, you know, toxic (2:10) positivity nonsense, just think positive or everything that happens for a reason. Instead, (2:15) I'm going to be sharing three real grounding truths that have helped me the most in those (2:20) moments where I just feel like I'm failing at everything. Before we dive in though, I want to (2:24) share this review.

She gave a five star review and said, Julie is such a calm person and inspiring. (2:28) During the school year, I look forward to getting to work early to get my stuff done and listen to (2:33) her. Now that it's summer.

Oh, this is an older one. Now that it's summer, I enjoy her podcast (2:38) during walks and the car. So thankful for her inspiration and positivity.

I'm so grateful for (2:43) you. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to send in this review, whether you're at work (2:48) or whether you're just hanging out at home, you're cleaning, you're hanging with your baby, (2:52) whatever you're doing, you're in the car driving. I love hearing where you guys are tuning in from.

(2:56) So you could scooch over to Apple podcasts and leave a rating interview. And I would love to (3:01) know where you're tuning in from. So you can just let me know, say, Hey, I'm tuning in from, you (3:06) know, Colorado Springs, Colorado, or I'm here in Charlotte, North Carolina, wherever you are, (3:10) I would love to know.

So you could scooch over to Apple podcasts and first make sure you subscribe (3:15) so that you never miss an episode they release on Mondays and Thursdays. And then you can scroll all (3:19) the way down and leave that rating interview. And again, just just say, Hey, I'm listening from so (3:24) and so.

And I just love, love, love to see that. Okay. Let's just dive right into today's episode.

(3:29) So thing number one, one hard day, one week or one month does not erase your progress. And I (3:36) want to start here because this is a big one. When you have a day where nothing goes according to (3:40) plan, when you skip your workout, you eat off track, you feel like you're just completely (3:44) derailing.

It's so easy to spiral into this all or nothing thinking like you just start telling (3:49) yourself, well, I already messed up today. So I might as well just give up for the week where I've, (3:53) you know, I've ruined all my progress or I'm back at square one, or I'm just never going to reach my (3:57) goals that I set. But here's the truth.

One day, one week, or even one month of imperfect choices (4:03) does not and will not undo months or years of consistency. Your body doesn't work like that. (4:09) Your progress doesn't disappear overnight.

The habits that you've built, the strength that you've (4:13) gained, the mindset shift that you've made, they don't just evaporate because you hit a rough, (4:17) a rough patch, right? I want you to think about it like this. If you've been working out consistently, (4:21) let's say for three months, you've been eating well, most of the time you've been showing up (4:25) for yourself. And then you have one week where life just gets crazy and everything falls apart.

(4:29) You didn't lose three months of progress. You had one week out of 12, that's less than 10% (4:36) of your time. And even during that hard week, your body was still benefiting from all the work (4:41) that you've already done.

Your muscles didn't disappear. Your metabolism didn't break. Your (4:45) progress didn't reverse.

What actually happens during hard seasons is this, you maintain, (4:49) you hold steady. And the second that you're able to get back into your routine, your body (4:54) responds quickly because you've already built that foundation. So when you feel like you're (4:58) failing because you missed a week of workouts or you ate off track, I want you to just remind (5:02) yourself that progress is not linear and setbacks are not erasers.

You're not starting over. You're (5:08) just continuing from a different place than you've planned. And that's okay.

All right, (5:12) thing number two, you are not failing. You are just human. Let me ask you something.

(5:18) What if the problem isn't that you're failing, but that your expectations are just completely (5:23) unrealistic? Really, we live in a world that tells us that we should be able to do it all, (5:27) all the time, work full time, be an amazing spouse, raise your kids if you have them, (5:32) keep a clean house, meal prep every week, work out five days a week, hit your macros perfectly, (5:37) have a thriving social life, pursue hobbies, pursue self-care, stay on top of everything. (5:41) Oh, and by the way, do all this while looking put together, never complaining and making it (5:45) effortless. That's impossible, like literally impossible.

And yet we beat ourselves up when (5:50) we can't do it. Here's the thing that I've learned. You're not failing at everything.

(5:55) You're just trying to do everything. And there's a big difference. Sometimes the most powerful (6:00) thing that you can do is give yourself permission to do less, to let something slide for a season (6:05) and say, you know what, this week, I'm just going to focus on showing up for work, my family, (6:10) and everything else can wait.

And that doesn't make you lazy. It doesn't make you weak. It (6:13) makes you wise because here's the reality.

You cannot pour from an empty cup. You cannot give (6:18) a hundred percent to 10 areas of your life at the same time. Something has to give.

And instead of (6:24) feeling like a failure when it does, what if you just accepted that this is the part of being human? (6:30) I'm a mom. And let me tell you this, there have been days and many days at the hut where I've had (6:35) to choose between working out or getting a nap, between hitting my macros and just eating something (6:39) so I don't pass out between responding to emails and spending time with Blake. And on those days, (6:44) I have to remind myself that I'm not failing.

I'm prioritizing. I'm making the best choice that (6:49) I can with the energy and the capacity that I have in the moment. So if you're feeling like (6:53) you're failing at everything, I want you to pause and ask yourself, am I actually failing or am I (6:59) just expecting myself to do the impossible? Because most of the time it's the second one.

And last (7:04) thing, thing number three, is that your worth is not tied to your productivity. Okay, this one is (7:09) so hard, but it's very important. We live in a culture that ties our worth to what we accomplish, (7:16) how much we get done, how productive we are, how on top of things we seem.

And when we have a day (7:21) or even a week or a month where we don't accomplish much, where we feel like we're barely surviving, (7:26) it's easy to start believing that we're not enough, that we're falling short, that we don't (7:30) measure up. But here's the truth that you need to hear. Your worth is not determined by how much (7:36) you accomplish.

You are not valuable because you checked off your to-do list. You're not more (7:42) worthy on the days that you hit your macros and less worthy on the days that you don't. Your value (7:46) as a human being is not contingent on whether you worked out this morning.

You are worthy because (7:52) you exist, period. And I know that might sound cheesy or over simple, but I really need you to (7:58) sit with that for a second. Your worth is inherent.

It's not something that you earn. It's not (8:02) something that you lose. It's not something that fluctuates based on your performance.

So when you (8:07) feel like you're failing at everything, when you feel like you're just dropping all the balls, (8:11) when you feel like you're just not enough, I want you to separate your worth from your (8:15) productivity. You can have a terrible, no good, awful day where nothing goes right and still be (8:20) deeply, inherently, unshakably valuable. In fact, some of my hardest days have also been some of my (8:27) most human days.

The days where I've had to lean on grace, ask for help, admit that I don't have it (8:32) all together. And there's something so beautiful about that because perfectionism is a trap. And (8:38) the sooner that we can release ourselves from the lie that our worth is tied to our performance, (8:42) the freer we become.

Okay. Those are the three big mindset shifts. I also really want to give (8:48) you some practical things that you can do in the moment when you're feeling overwhelmed and like (8:52) failing at everything.

Number one, I want you to take a breath, like literally take a breath. (9:01) When you are spiraling, your nervous system is in this fight or flight mode. And the first thing (9:06) that you need to do is just to calm your body down.

I want you to inhale for four counts, (9:11) hold for four, exhale for four. This is going to signal to your brain that you're safe. And it (9:17) really does help you think more clearly.

So it's going to sound kind of sounds something like this, (9:28) very slow and very intentional. Number two, zoom out. When you are in the thick of a hard day, (9:34) it feels like everything is falling apart.

When you zoom out, when you are looking at the bigger (9:39) picture, you oftentimes see that you're actually doing way better than you think. And you ask (9:43) yourself, okay, in the last month, how many days did I show up for myself? How many workouts did (9:47) I complete? How many times did I feel my body? Well, I bet it's more than you're giving yourself (9:52) credit for. Number three, I want you to do one small thing.

When everything feels overwhelming, (9:58) just do one small thing, drink a glass of water, go for a five minute walk, send a kind text or (10:03) audio message to a friend, do 10 air squats. The goal isn't to fix everything. It's to do one thing (10:09) that reminds you that you're still capable.

Number four, talk to yourself like you talk to a friend. (10:15) If your best friend came to you and said, I just feel like I'm failing at everything. What would (10:18) you say to her? You wouldn't say, yeah, you're right.

You're a total failure. You would give her (10:23) grace. You would remind her of how strong she is.

You tell her that one hard day doesn't define her. (10:28) So why are you not doing that for yourself? I really do encourage you to do this. Whether it's (10:32) in the shower, whether you're driving, whether you're looking at yourself in the mirror, when (10:35) you're getting ready, just start to learn to talk to yourself.

And when you start to learn to talk (10:39) to yourself, I really think that you humanize yourself more and you really start to talk to (10:44) yourself more like a best friend. Because at the end of the day, you're the only one that's going (10:49) to live inside your head for the rest of your life. So why not make that an enjoyable experience? (10:54) Number five, remember your why.

Why did you start this journey in the first place? Why did you want (11:00) to build a stronger body? Why did you want to feel more confident? When you reconnect with your deeper (11:05) why, it's going to help you remember that setbacks are just a part of the process. They're not the (11:09) end of the story. Now I know that not everyone listening is a mom, but for those of you who are, (11:14) I see you.

And I want to say motherhood is one of the most beautiful and also one of the hardest (11:20) things you will ever do. There are going to be days where keeping your kids alive feels like (11:24) the one thing and only thing that you accomplished that day. And that's okay.

In fact, that's more (11:29) than okay. That's everything. You, your body literally grew a human.

Your body is healing. (11:34) Your mind is healing. Your body is doing the work of nourishing, caring for raising another person.

(11:39) And that's enough. So if your workout didn't happen because your baby needed you, your kid (11:43) needed you, that's not a failure. If you ate whatever it was quick, because you were just (11:47) touched out and exhausted.

That's not a failure. That's survival. And survival is a success.

You're (11:53) doing an incredible job, even when it doesn't feel like it. All right, let's kind of bring it all (11:59) together. So here's what we covered today.

One hard day or a week or a month that does not erase (12:04) your progress. Your body doesn't work in this all or nothing term, right? Setbacks don't undo (12:10) the foundation that you've built. You're not starting over.

You're just continuing from a (12:13) different place. You're not failing. You're just human.

Sometimes the problem isn't that you're (12:18) doing something wrong. It's that you're trying to do everything at once. I want you to give (12:23) yourself permission to prioritize and let some things slide for a season.

And lastly, your worth (12:28) is not tied to your productivity. You are valuable because you exist. You are a child of God, not (12:34) because of what you accomplished.

Hard days don't make you less worthy. They make you human. And when (12:39) you're in the thick of it, remember to breathe, zoom out, do one small thing, talk to yourself (12:45) with kindness and reconnect to your why.

If you're listening to this on a hard day, I just want you (12:49) to know that you're not alone. You're not failing. You are so much stronger than you think.

I want you (12:55) to keep going, even if it's messy, even if it's imperfect, and especially when it's imperfect. (13:00) Even if all you did today was just survive, that's enough. If this episode resonated with you, I know (13:08) you will also love episode 280, 10 truths about self-worth.

I will go ahead and link that in the (13:13) show notes below so that you can easily go check that out. And hey, if this episode helped you (13:17) today, it would mean the world to me if you share it with a friend who needs it and also leave a (13:21) quick review. I would love to hear how we're reaching more women.

And I would love for more (13:26) women to hear this reminder. If you need support, staying consistent when life gets hard, I do have (13:32) my movement with Julie tumble only workouts. They're designed to meet you where they're at.

(13:36) No matter what season you're in, all you need is a few pair of dumbbells and a small space. (13:40) You can learn more about sale. That's s a l e.movementwithjulie.com. All right.

That is all (13:46) that I have for you today. I love you so dang much. I mean it.

And I'll talk to you in the next one. (14:00) All right, sister, that's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do.

(14:06) First thing, if you're not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so. Julie, a lot better. (14:11) Yes, it's with an A in the middle for that daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks (14:17) and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check.

The second thing, be sure to (14:23) subscribe to Apple podcast to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me. It means (14:29) the absolute world.

And I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women (14:34) that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being (14:41) authentically themselves. Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface.

(14:46) So go out there and embrace a real because you're worth it.

 
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