Body Image Advice That Didn’t Help Me

 

Hey hey beautiful human!

Some body image advice sounds really good until you are the one standing in front of the mirror trying to believe it.

“Just love your body.”

“Say positive things to yourself.”

“Focus on the parts you like.”

And listen, I know most of that advice is meant to help. But when I was really struggling with how I felt in my body, some of it did not make me feel better. Some of it made me feel like I was failing at body confidence too.

And that is such a frustrating place to be.

In this episode of Embrace Your Real, we are talking about the body image advice that did not help me, why it felt so hard to actually use, and what started to make a difference when forcing myself into body love did not feel honest yet.

My hope is that this episode gives you a more realistic place to start if body positivity feels too far away right now.

What’s Discussed:

  • Why “just love your body” is not always helpful when you are struggling

  • What to do when positive affirmations feel fake

  • Why focusing on the body parts you like can still keep you stuck in appearance mode

  • How body neutrality can feel more believable than forced body love

  • Why confidence does not always come before you live your life

  • How discomfort can still exist while you show up anyway

  • What it can look like to respect your body before you fully love how it looks

Taking care of your body matters, even on the days you do not feel amazing in it. That is part of why I built the Movement With Julie app the way I did. The workouts are there for you at home, in the gym, or wherever this season has you, so you do not have to wait until you feel confident to start showing up for yourself. Head to movementwithjulie.com to learn more.

If you loved this episode, you will also love Body Neutrality vs. Body Positivity: Why You Need to Know the Difference. It is the perfect next listen if body positivity has ever felt too far away and you want a more honest, sustainable place to start.

If you want more from me, be sure to check out…

Transcript

(0:00) Hey, hey beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you (0:06) but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Reel with me, Julie Ledbetter.

(0:13) I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. (0:19) Stay tuned if you're ready to Embrace Your Reel. Let's get it, let's go! (0:31) Hello and welcome back to another bonus episode on the Embrace Your Podcast.

(0:35) So there are a lot of body image advice out there that sounds really good in theory. (0:39) But when I was actually struggling with how I felt about my body, some of it did absolutely nothing for me. (0:45) And honestly, some of it made me feel worse because I would just hear things like, (0:49) just love your body and think, okay, but what if I genuinely don't feel like that right now? (0:53) So today, I want to share four pieces of body image advice that did not help me, (0:58) why they did not help me, and what actually made the difference instead.

(1:02) We're just going to dive right into it. The first one, just love your body. (1:06) This one sounds beautiful, but it never helped me because you cannot force yourself to feel an emotion (1:11) that's just simply not there.

If I was having a day where I felt uncomfortable in my body, (1:16) telling myself that I should love every part of it did not magically make that feeling disappear. (1:21) If anything, it gave me another thing to feel like I was doing wrong because now I dislike my body (1:27) and I felt guilty that I was not loving it enough. (1:30) What helped me more was realizing that I did not have to love my body every single day (1:35) in order to treat it with respect.

I can have a hard body image day and still feed myself enough. (1:41) I can still move my body because movement makes me feel good. (1:45) I can still wear clothes that are comfortable, take care of myself, (1:48) and speak to myself with kindness.

Respect became a much more realistic goal (1:53) than forcing myself to feel love when I did not. (1:56) Number two, stand in front of the mirror and say positive things about your body. (2:01) I understand the intention behind positive affirmations, but when I was struggling (2:06) with my body image, saying things I did not actually believe just felt fake.

(2:10) Like if I looked in the mirror and told myself, I love my stomach. (2:14) While another part of my brain was immediately screaming, no you don't, (2:17) the affirmation did not help. It actually made me personally more aware of the gap between what (2:23) I was saying and what I genuinely felt.

Neutral self-talk personally worked so much better because (2:29) I could actually believe it. Instead of trying to convince myself that I loved everything that I (2:34) saw, I could say something like this is my body and I do not have to love how it looks today (2:40) in order to take care of it. That thought personally just felt true which made it (2:45) much more useful for me.

Something neutral in my opinion is a much healthier place to start (2:50) than trying to jump all the way from criticism to complete body love. (2:55) Number three, focus on the parts of your body that you do like. This advice never really (3:00) got me out of the appearance mindset because I was still ranking my body.

Like maybe I hated (3:04) my stomach but I liked my legs so now I was supposed to focus on my legs, but I was still (3:09) evaluating myself based on which body part looked good enough and which ones did not. (3:14) What helped me more was really shifting my attention away from appearance altogether and (3:20) thinking about function. Instead of asking like what part of my body do I like looking at today, (3:26) I started asking what does my body allow me to do today? Maybe my legs allow me to go for a walk (3:32) with my family, maybe my arms allow me to lift weights on my baby, maybe my body gives me the (3:37) ability to play with my kids and travel and work and hug someone I love and simply just (3:42) move throughout my day.

That shift personally helped me remember that my body has value (3:49) far beyond how it looks. And last but not least, number four, you will feel confident (3:54) once you love how you look. This one personally kept me waiting for confidence instead of actually (4:00) living my life.

Like I thought I needed to feel better about my body before I could wear certain (4:06) clothes, take the picture, go to the event, get in the swimsuit, stop worrying about what (4:10) everyone else thought of me, but confidence did not magically appear once I've reached some (4:15) perfect level of body acceptance. Like what actually helped me was doing things while I (4:20) was still uncomfortable. I wore the outfit even when I felt self-conscious.

I showed up even (4:26) when I was not feeling my best. I let myself be in the pictures even though I didn't love (4:31) every angle. Over time I learned that I can feel uncomfortable and still enjoy my life.

(4:37) And this is where confidence actually started to grow for me. Like I stopped waiting to feel (4:41) completely secure before I acted confident. And I started realizing that confidence comes (4:45) after you prove to yourself that you can handle the discomfort.

So if you're struggling with (4:50) body image right now, I just want to remind you that the goal does not have to be loving (4:55) every single thing about your body every single day. You can start with respect. You can start (5:00) with neutral language that you actually believe.

You can focus on what your body allows you to (5:05) experience rather than constantly evaluating how it looks. And you can keep living your life even (5:11) while some discomfort is still there. For me, those things were so much more helpful than trying to (5:16) force myself into body positivity before I was actually ready for it.

And this is partly why (5:22) I built Moment with Julie the way that I did. Like taking care of your body matters even on (5:27) the days that you don't feel great about it. So I wanted a program that doesn't ask you to wait (5:31) until you feel confident to show up.

It gives you structured workouts that you can do at home with (5:36) a few pair of dumbbells in a small space. Regardless of how you feel about your body that day, (5:41) you can still open up the app, pick a workout 30 minute or 60 minute and you can honor your (5:46) body with some movement and just be grateful that your body has lungs and you are able to (5:51) get that blood pumping and move your body. If you want to learn more, you can go to (5:57) salesale.movewithjulie.com. I will also link it in the show notes below.

(6:00) Also, if you love this episode, I think you will also love an OG episode 45 body neutrality versus (6:07) body positivity. It goes even deeper into why neutral is often the more sustainable place to (6:13) land than forcing yourself into love. And so I will link that in the show notes below.

But that (6:17) is all that I have for today's bonus episode. If you needed permission to stop chasing body love (6:22) and start replacing it with respect instead, I hope that this was it. I love you so much.

(6:28) I mean it and I'll talk to you in the next one. (6:39) All right, sister, that's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do.

(6:45) First thing, if you are not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so. Julie A. (6:50) Ledbetter. Yes, it's with an A in the middle for that daily post-workout real talk, (6:55) healthy tips and tricks, and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check.

(7:00) The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple podcast to never miss an episode. (7:05) Thank you so much for joining me. It means the absolute world.

And I'm going to leave you with (7:10) one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are (7:15) completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember that beauty (7:22) goes so much deeper than the surface.

So go out there and embrace a real because you're worth it.

 
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