How to Feel Confident in Your Body Right Now — Not When You Lose the Weight

 

Hey hey beautiful human!

So many of us have made a quiet deal with ourselves.

Once I lose the weight, then I will feel confident. Then I will wear the dress. Then I will book the trip. Then I will stop hiding in photos. Then I will finally feel comfortable in my own skin.

Well, I get why that feels true. When the discomfort feels tied to your body, it makes sense to think changing your body will fix it.

But here is the part that so many women do not realize: losing the weight can change your body, but it does not automatically change the way you see yourself.

In this bonus episode of Embrace Your Real, we are talking about the “when I lose the weight” deal so many women make with themselves, why it does not always give you what it promises, and how to start building real confidence in the body you have right now.

What’s Discussed:

  • Why the “I will feel confident when I lose the weight” mindset feels so believable

  • How the finish line can keep moving even after you reach a goal

  • Why changing your body does not automatically change how you see yourself

  • Where confidence actually starts to come from

  • Why keeping small promises to yourself matters so much

  • How movement can help you build proof that you show up for yourself

  • The one small promise to choose this week so you can start building confidence now

And if the promise you choose this week is movement, the Movement With Julie app makes that simple. You get five brand-new workouts each week that are challenging, effective, and time efficient with minimal equipment, so you are not wasting energy wondering what to do. Head to macrocountingmadesimple.com  to get started.

If you loved this episode, you’ll also love Episode 280: 10 Truths About Your Self-Worth. It is the perfect next listen if you are ready to stop tying your confidence to a number and start seeing yourself differently.

If you want more from me, be sure to check out…

Transcript

(0:00) Hey, hey beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, (0:06) but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter.

(0:13) I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. (0:19) Stay tuned if you're ready to Embrace Your Real. Let's get it, let's go.

(0:31) Hello, and welcome back to another episode on the Embrace Your Real podcast. Today is a short one, (0:37) but it might just be the one that you come back to over and over again because today we're talking (0:40) about a deal that so many of us have made with ourselves. We never said it to anyone.

We might (0:45) have not even said it to ourselves directly, but it's actually running in the background of everything. (0:49) And the deal goes like this. I will feel confident when, dot, dot, dot, I lose the weight.

Or (0:56) the dress is worn. Or the beach trip happens. The feeling of finally being comfortable in your own (1:03) skin.

All of those things. And I get it. I get why we make this deal.

It feels logical. The (1:08) discomfort seems connected to your body, so changing the body should remove the discomfort. (1:13) But I've watched so many people hold up their end of the bargain, lose the weight, and stand (1:19) there waiting for the confidence to show up, and it never does.

And that's why in today's episode (1:23) I'm going to be breaking down why the when I lose the weight deal never actually pays out. (1:30) Where confidence really comes from, hint, it's not the mirror, and how to start building real (1:36) confidence in your body. Before we dive in, I want to share this review.

She gave a five (1:39) star review and said positive energy and easy listening. This is one of my favorite podcasts. (1:45) Love listening to Julian.

Her information is great. Thank you for being a positive influence. (1:49) Love this so much.

Thank you so much. Short and sweet. So, so good.

I appreciate every single one (1:55) of your guys's reviews when you send them in. So thank you, thank you, thank you. All right, (1:58) we're just going to dive right in because it's a bonus episode.

Short and to the point. So here (2:03) is what nobody tells you when you make this deal with yourself. The deal does not stay the same.

(2:08) It renegotiates itself every single time. You set the number, you work towards it, (2:13) and somewhere along the way, the terms change. You hit the goal, and suddenly it's, okay, (2:18) just five more pounds, or the scale finally says what you want it to say, and you say, (2:22) oh, now it's your arms or your stomach, or how you look in photos from a certain angle.

(2:26) The finish line keeps sliding backwards and you keep running. And what I want you to really think (2:31) about is this. If confidence were really waiting at a goal weight, it would have shown up for (2:37) millions of people who hit theirs.

But ask anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight, (2:43) and so many of them will tell you the same thing. I got there and I still felt like me. (2:48) And I say this with so much confidence because I personally lived it.

Like I hit numbers, (2:53) I sure thought it would change everything for me. And the woman looking back in the mirror (2:57) felt the exact same. That is the secret the deal never tells you is that the scale can (3:02) change what your body looks like, but it cannot change how you see yourself and it cannot change (3:07) how you feel in your own skin.

So if you've been pushing towards a specific number, believing (3:13) peace is on the other side of it, I want to lovingly take that pressure off your shoulders today. (3:18) The number was never going to give you that, and that means you can stop waiting for it. (3:22) So if the confidence doesn't come from the mirror, where does it actually come from? (3:26) I can say that in one word, evidence.

Confidence is your brain responding to proof. (3:32) Proof that you keep promises to yourself, proof that your body can keep doing things (3:37) it couldn't do a month ago, proof that you show up even on the days that you don't feel like it. (3:41) And that is why you can feel more confident after a workout than you did before.

(3:46) Even though your body looks the exact same as it did an hour earlier, nothing about your appearance (3:52) changed, but you just handed your brain a receipt that says, I am someone who follows through. (3:58) And this is also why weight loss alone oftentimes fails to deliver, right? You can lose weight while (4:05) breaking trust with yourself the entire time, skipping meals, dreading every workout, (4:08) hating the process, punishing your body towards a deadline. You arrive at the goal with a smaller (4:15) body and a pile of evidence that says you can't be trusted to take care of yourself.

(4:20) So of course the confidence isn't there. It never had a chance to grow. (4:24) Let me repeat that again.

Confidence doesn't come from what the process does to your body. (4:28) It comes from what the process proves to your brain. (4:33) So the real question is not how do I lose the weight? It's how do I start stacking evidence? (4:37) And honestly, that's personally why I built the Movement with Juliet the way that I did.

(4:42) Five brand new workouts every week, a plan for you. You can do that, (4:46) like literally do it with a few pair of dumbbells and a small space. (4:49) That is all that you need because every single workout that you complete is another receipt.

(4:54) It's another kept promise. It's another piece of proof that you showed up to yourself. (4:59) This is where confidence actually gets built one workout at a time or one meal at a time.

(5:05) If you want to learn more about my program, I will link that in the show notes below. (5:09) But that brings me to the last thing that I need you to hear in today's bonus episode. (5:14) The only place that evidence can be built is in the body that you have right now.

(5:20) Every piece of evidence that we just talked about, every rep, every walk, (5:24) every glass of water, every kept promise, all of it happens in the body that you have today. (5:29) Not the body that you're hoping for, this one, the one that you are in right now. (5:34) Which means that waiting is not neutral.

Waiting actually has a cost. (5:37) So every week that you spend, believing that confidence starts after, (5:41) is a week where zero evidence gets collected. (5:44) The waiting itself is what keeps the confidence from coming.

(5:47) And guess what? The reverse is also true. (5:49) The moment that you start treating today's body like it's worth showing up for, (5:53) the evidence starts stacking immediately. (5:56) You don't have to weigh a single pound less for that to begin.

(5:59) You can absolutely start right here, right now, tonight, today. (6:04) This morning. (6:05) So here's what I want you to do this week.

(6:07) Pick one promise. (6:08) Just one. (6:08) Three workouts.

(6:09) A 10-minute walk every morning. (6:11) Actually finishing your water every day. (6:13) Make it small enough that you cannot talk yourself out of it and then keep it.

(6:17) Because that one kept promise is your first receipt. (6:21) And receipts are how this whole thing starts. (6:24) So here's what I want you to take home from, from today's episode.

(6:27) When you drop the when I lose the weight deal, that's when real things change. (6:32) Your worth stops living on a bathroom scale, (6:36) which means a number can no longer ruin your morning. (6:38) The hard body image days, they lose their grip because your confidence is anchored (6:43) to what you do, not what you see.

(6:47) Let me say that again. (6:48) Your confidence is anchored to what you do, not what you see. (6:54) And the part that surprises most people is that your physical goals usually get easier.

(6:59) Because you are finally working with yourself instead of punishing yourself. (7:03) And consistency built on self-respect lasts so much longer than consistency built on shame. (7:09) If you love this episode, I know you will also love episode 280, (7:13) 10 truths about your self-worth.

(7:14) I will link that in the show notes below. (7:17) Also, if today's episode helped you, (7:18) would you just share it with someone who maybe has been making the same deal with herself? (7:22) You never know who needs permission to stop waiting. (7:26) All right, that is all that I have for today's bonus episode.

(7:29) I love you so much. (7:30) I mean it. (7:31) You do not have to earn the right to feel at home in your body.

(7:34) You already live there. (7:36) I love you and I'll talk to you in the next one. (7:52) All right, sister, that's all I got for you today.

(7:55) But I have two things that I need you to do. (7:58) First thing, if you're not already following me on the gram, (8:01) be sure to do so, Julie A. Ledbetter. (8:03) Yes, it's with an A in the middle for that daily post-workout real talk, (8:08) healthy tips and tricks, and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check.

(8:13) The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. (8:18) Thank you so much for joining me. (8:21) It means the absolute world and I'm going to leave you with one last thought.

(8:25) The most beautiful women that I have met in my life (8:27) are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. (8:34) Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. (8:38) So go out there and embrace a real because you're worth it.

 
Julie Ledbetterembrace your real, q and a, workouts, scheduleComment