How to Quiet the Voice That Says You’re Not Enough

 

There’s a voice that shows up for so many women, and it usually gets loud right when you’re trying to grow. It’s the one that tells you you’re not doing enough, not moving fast enough, or not where you should be by now. That voice can sneak in when you’re working toward a goal, when you finally start feeling confident, or even when you’re doing your best to slow down and rest.

In this conversation, I walk you through what that inner critic actually is and why it tends to show up during moments of change. We talk about how your brain tries to protect you by turning discomfort into danger, how to create space between you and fear-based thoughts, and how to respond without spiraling into self-doubt. 

This is about learning to meet those thoughts with curiosity, not criticism, and building trust with yourself one small step at a time.

Here is what you will learn:

• Why that critical voice often appears during growth
• How to separate fear-driven thoughts from facts
• A simple way to pause instead of reacting
• How curiosity helps quiet self-judgment
• Why small daily follow-through builds confidence

If this episode resonated, you may also enjoy:
Episode 242: 3 Things Destroying Your Confidence and What to Do About It

If you want more from me, be sure to check out… 

Website: www.juliealedbetter.com

Transcript

 (0:00) Hey, hey, beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something (0:04) super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. (0:08) You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter.

(0:12) I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and (0:17) unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned if you're ready to embrace your real. (0:22) Let's get in.

Let's go. Hello, and welcome back to another bonus episode on the Embrace (0:35) Your Real podcast. If you're anything like most women inside my Moo and Julie community, (0:38) there's probably a voice in your head that gets a little too loud sometimes.

You know, (0:42) the one, the inner critic that says, you're not doing enough. You should look better. (0:46) You should be further along.

That voice shows up when you're trying to make progress, (0:49) when you're starting to finally feel confident, or even when you're doing your best to rest. (0:53) And if you've ever felt like you can't quiet it, you absolutely are not alone. The truth is (0:58) even the most confident women struggle with that inner voice, but here's the good news.

(1:01) You can learn how to quiet it. You can retrain your brain to focus on progress, not perfection. (1:07) So in today's bonus episode, we're going to be talking about how to silence your inner critic (1:11) and finally start feeling proud of the progress that you're making.

Today's episode, we're going (1:15) to cover what your inner critic actually is and why it gets louder when you're growing, (1:19) how to separate fear-based thoughts from facts, the mindset shift that helps you replace criticism (1:25) with curiosity, and a simple way to build daily proof that you can trust yourself. (1:30) No perfection required. We're just going to dive right into it because there is too much goodness (1:35) in here and I just want to get straight to it.

Okay, so number one is to recognize the critic's (1:40) pattern. Your inner critic usually shows up when you're growing or stepping outside your comfort (1:44) zone, not because you're failing, but because your brain is literally trying to protect you. (1:49) Here's what's really going on.

The voice that is part of your brain's threat detection system, (1:54) mainly controlled by the amygdala is what it's called. When you do something new or uncertain, (1:58) that part of your brain lights up and sends signals meant to keep you safe. But instead (2:04) of recognizing physical danger, it interprets emotional risk, things like judgment, rejection, (2:09) or failure as danger as well.

That's why your inner critic leans on guilt and comparison. (2:14) Those emotions, they're familiar. They keep you from taking risks that feel uncomfortable, (2:19) even when those risks are exactly what is going to help you grow.

So the next time your inner (2:23) critic says you're not ready or she's doing it better than you, I want you to take a step back (2:28) and I want you to recognize what is happening. Your brain is confusing discomfort with danger. (2:33) And in that moment, here's what you can do.

First, you can pause and you can actually name it. Say (2:38) to yourself, this is my brain trying to protect me. That simple label activates your prefrontal (2:45) cortex, that rational part of your brain, and it's going to quiet the emotional reactivity of the (2:51) amygdala.

Then I want you to breathe before reacting. Take one slow inhale through your nose (2:58) and one long exhale through your mouth. Deep breathing.

That's going to lower cortisol, (3:07) your main stress hormone, and it's going to shift your nervous system out of that fight or flight (3:11) mode. Next, I want you to add some separation language. Instead of saying, I'm not enough, (3:16) I want you to try saying, I'm having the thought that I am not enough.

That tiny phrasing is going (3:22) to change and it's going to help you to take a step back from the thought instead of being (3:26) consumed by it. And finally, I want you to replace fear with truth. So once you've paused, (3:31) respond by saying, thank you for trying to keep me safe, but I've got this.

It may sound simple, (3:37) but studies have shown that talking back to negative self-talk literally will help to (3:42) rewire your thought patterns over time. The more often that you practice this, the faster your brain (3:48) is going to learn that discomfort isn't danger. It's just a sign that you're growing.

And that (3:53) one second of awareness, that is what is going to give you your power back. Number two, you have to (3:59) separate truth from self-talk. And this is where I love using what I call the evidence check.

When (4:06) the critical thought pops up, maybe it's I'm failing or I'll never feel confident or stay (4:12) consistent. I want you to pause and ask yourself, is this thought based on fact or is it fear? (4:17) That simple question is going to interrupt that spiral. You're shifting from emotional thinking (4:22) to logical thinking, which is going to activate the rational part of your brain responsible for (4:27) decision-making.

When that part of your brain turns on, it's going to quiet the emotional alarm (4:32) system that is fueling the anxiety or guilt behind the thought. If the answer is fear, (4:38) you don't have to fight the thought. You just don't feed it.

You can say, okay, that's a fear, (4:43) not a fact, and let it pass. The more you practice that, the more your brain learns that not every (4:48) thought deserves attention. If the answer is fact, that's where growth begins.

You can use it as (4:54) feedback instead of shame. So for example, if you realize, man, I've been skipping workouts because (4:59) I'm just exhausted. That's not failure.

That's information. That's your body saying, hey, (5:04) I need more recovery or a lighter week. And this is key.

Feelings are not facts. You can feel (5:09) behind and still be right on track. You can feel unmotivated and still be making progress, (5:13) and you can feel doubt and still be capable.

Emotions are temporary chemical signals, (5:18) not permanent truths. They peak and they pass within 90 seconds unless we keep fueling them (5:23) with more thoughts. So when you catch yourself spiraling, I want you to take a deep breath and (5:27) remind yourself, okay, this feeling is not forever.

And that's why separating how you feel from what (5:32) is actually true is such a game changer. Because when you pause to ask for evidence, you stop (5:38) letting your emotions run the show and you start leading with reality. And here's the beautiful (5:42) part.

Your inner critic that usually gets the loudest right before a breakthrough. Why? Because (5:47) your brain senses that you're about to do something new, something bigger than before, (5:51) and growth always feels uncomfortable to the part of your brain that craves safety. So the next (5:55) time that voice is saying you're failing, I want you to take that as proof that you're stretching, (6:00) not slipping.

It means that you're right on the edge of change and breakthrough. Number three, (6:05) build new internal evidence. You have to quiet your inner critic by building proof that you can (6:11) trust yourself.

Confidence comes from evidence, real tangible proof that keeps you showing up (6:17) even when things are not ideal. Every time you follow through on a small promise to yourself, (6:22) your brain is going to store that moment as data. And the more data that you give it, the quieter (6:26) that inner critic becomes.

And here's why that works. Your brain has a filter that decides what (6:31) information to focus on. So when you are constantly feeding it negative thoughts, like, (6:35) I just can't stay consistent, or I always fall off track, it goes out and finds evidence to prove (6:40) those statements are true.

But when you start giving it new evidence, proof that you are capable, (6:45) that you're learning, that you're taking small actions every day, that same system begins filtering (6:49) the progress instead of failure. It starts to spot wins when it used to only see flaws. And that's how (6:55) you're literally rewiring your self-belief.

So here's kind of how to do it. I want you to start (7:00) a proof list. It doesn't have to be fancy, but open and note in your app and on your phone, or (7:05) just keep a small notebook by your bed.

And every time that you follow through, even in the tiniest (7:11) way, write it down. I found that having a phone and just putting it in my notes app is the easiest (7:15) way, because I'm not going to carry around a small notebook. And if I just leave it to my bedside, (7:21) I'm going to probably forget like 10 wins that I had over the day.

But if you drank your water, (7:25) I want you to write it down. If you went for a walk, I want you to write it down. If you stayed (7:29) patient in the moment when you used to get all riled up, I want you to write that down.

If you (7:34) showed up for a workout, even if you didn't feel like it, I want you to write it, write it down. (7:38) I want you to write it down. Even if you listened to your body and rested, instead of pushing (7:42) through all of those things, right? Those moments matter because they prove that you can trust (7:46) yourself to follow through.

And when you can trust yourself, that inner critic loses its argument. (7:51) At the end of the day, take 30 seconds, write everything you did down, or you can do it (7:55) throughout the day, like me, so that you don't forget certain things by the end of the day. (7:59) Because by the end of the day, I'm exhausted, right? And the last thing on my mind is trying (8:03) to go through all these things that I did well.

Maybe that's you, amazing. But for me as a young (8:07) mom, I just like, I can't. Or a mom, I shouldn't say a young mom of 35, but a mom with a young (8:13) toddler.

I just don't have the bandwidth for that, right? It's not going to be perfect, but maybe (8:18) again, you handled stress better than you did yesterday. Maybe you made a nourishing meal (8:21) instead of just going straight for the chips. Maybe you took five minutes to breathe before (8:25) reacting.

All those things count. And here's the science behind why that simple exercise works. (8:30) Because when you acknowledge your wins, your brain is going to release dopamine, (8:34) that neurotransmitter tied to the motivation and reward.

And over time, that small daily hit of (8:38) dopamine, that's going to rewire your brain to associate self-kindness with progress. (8:43) And here's where my Movement with Julie Dumbbell-only weekly workouts come in. (8:47) These are going to give you tangible proof of your progress, right? Inside the app, (8:52) you can actually see your consistency.

You can track your workouts. You can note the (8:56) weights that you lifted. You can watch your strength and endurance grow over time.

(8:59) Every completed session becomes another piece of evidence that you're showing up and following (9:04) through. And week after week, you're going to start to notice a shift. You're going to feel (9:07) more grounded, more capable, more proud, because you start noticing the proof that was there all (9:12) along.

Little wins, they build big confidence over time. And confidence is built on evidence, (9:17) right? That is the kind that lasts. All right, let's kind of wrap this up with a few closing (9:22) thoughts to kind of pull everything together.

If that inner critic has been running the show lately, (9:27) making you feel like you're not enough, not where you should be, not measuring up, (9:31) I just want you to remember these truths. That voice isn't truth, it's protection. Your brain (9:36) literally confuses discomfort with danger.

So when that critic gets loud, it usually means (9:43) that you're growing. You can ask your thoughts. Use the evidence checklist.

Is this a factor of (9:48) fear? And remind yourself that feelings are not facts. Remember that curiosity beats criticism (9:54) every single time. Instead of saying, I messed up, try, what can I learn from this? Growth comes (9:59) from grace, not guilt.

And confidence is built on evidence. Every small promise that you keep (10:04) drinking your water, showing up, resting when you needed it, that is proof that you can trust (10:09) yourself. And lastly, progress doesn't require perfection.

You are allowed to be both a work (10:14) in progress and proud of how far you've come. When you practice these things daily, that inner critic (10:18) starts losing its grips. You stop measuring your worth by how perfectly you perform and start seeing (10:24) it as how consistently you show up, right? True confidence is knowing how to respond even when (10:31) those thoughts appear.

If you love this episode, I know you will also love episode 242, Three Things (10:36) Destroying Your Confidence and What to Do About It. And if you need a safe space to build that (10:42) strength inside and out, that's exactly why I created my Moo Moo Julie Dumbo Only Weekly Workouts. (10:47) It's a community and program designed to help women build confidence through strength training (10:51) structure and support.

No guilt, no comparison. You can learn more by going to sale, that's (10:56) sale.moomoojulie.com. All right, if this episode helped you at all, it would mean the absolute (11:01) world to me if you shared it with a friend who needed this reminder as well. And if you haven't (11:05) yet, if you could take 30 seconds to leave a quick review, it means so much and also just helps get (11:11) this message out to more women who need it.

You've got this. Be kind to yourself, stay curious, and (11:16) keep showing up one thought, one rep, and one day at a time. I love you so dang much, I mean it, (11:22) and I'll talk to you in the next one.

All right, sister, that's all I got for you today. (11:35) But I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following (11:40) me on the gram, be sure to do so.

Julie A. Ledbetter, yes, it's with an A in the middle, (11:45) for that daily post-workout real talk, healthy tips and tricks, and honest accountability to (11:51) keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts (11:56) to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me.

It means the absolute world, (12:02) and I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my (12:07) life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. (12:14) Remember that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface.

So go out there and embrace your (12:19) because you're worth it.

 
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