My Best Tips for Feeling Confident in Your Body

 

If you’ve been having one of those seasons where getting dressed feels frustrating, the mirror feels loud, or you keep comparing yourself to who you used to be, this episode is for you. Body confidence is not something you unlock once and keep forever. Some days feel steady and grounded. Other days feel heavy and discouraging. That does not mean you are failing. It means you are human.

In this episode, I’m sharing my best reminders for building body confidence in real life, not in a “someday when I look different” way, but right now. We talk about giving yourself permission to be where you are, stopping the habit of putting your life on hold, reframing the pressure around your body, shifting your self-talk, and creating practical changes that help you feel supported instead of critical. This conversation is about rebuilding trust with yourself and learning how to live fully in the body you have today.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

• Why struggling with body confidence does not mean you are failing
• How waiting to love yourself keeps you from living your life
• Why your body is not the problem, even if it feels that way
• The impact of your internal self-talk and how to shift it
• Why clothes should fit your body, not the other way around
• How curating your social media feed affects your confidence
• The power of celebrating what your body has carried you through
• Why confidence can begin with neutrality instead of love
• The reminder that you are allowed to take up space

If you’re ready to build strength in a way that supports your body instead of punishing it, the Movement With Julie app gives you structured, approachable strength training designed to help you feel strong from the inside out.

If this episode resonated, you may also enjoy: Episode 491: 9 Small Wins You Can Start Celebrating Today

https://www.juliealedbetter.com/embrace-your-real/9-small-wins-you-can-start-celebrating-today 

If you want more from me, be sure to check out… 

Website: www.juliealedbetter.com

Transcript

(0:00) Hey there beautiful human, you're listening to Embrace Your Real with me, Julie Ledbetter, (0:05) a podcast where I empower you to just be you. (0:09) With each episode I dish you a dose of real talk and actionable advice for building your (0:13) confidence, honoring your body and unconditionally loving your authentic self. (0:18) Stay tuned if you're ready to embrace your real, let's get it, let's go! (0:28) Hello and welcome back to another episode on the Embrace Your Real podcast.

(0:31) I'm so grateful that you're here with me today. (0:34) Today's episode is a little bit different. (0:35) We're going to be going back to some of the most powerful body confidence reminders that I've shared over the years, (0:41) like the ones that have helped me the most and the ones that you've told me that you've personally come back to again and again.

(0:46) Because here's the thing, body confidence isn't something that you achieve once and half forever. (0:50) It's not a destination that you arrive and suddenly everything just clicks into place. (0:54) Some days you're going to wake up feeling steady and sharing your skin.

(0:56) And other days you're going to wake up immediately start picking yourself apart. (0:59) And if you're in one of those heavier seasons right now where you're just like looking in the mirror and that feels really hard, (1:05) where getting dressed feels frustrating, where you're constantly comparing yourself to who you used to be or who you think you should be, (1:11) I want you to know that struggling does not mean that you're failing, it means that you're human. (1:15) And this episode is for the woman who's tired of waiting to love herself before she starts living her life.

(1:20) It's for the woman who knows logically that her body isn't the problem, (1:24) but still feels the weight of comparison and pressure every single day. (1:27) It's for the woman who's doing the work but still has hard days. (1:30) So today we're going back to the foundations.

(1:33) These are the reminders that have helped me rebuild my relationship with my body over the years. (1:37) And my hope is that at least one of these is going to be exactly what you need to hear today. (1:42) Before we dive in though, I want to share this because it's exactly why I do what I do (1:46) and it feels very fitting for today's subject.

(1:48) She gave a five star review and said absolute godsend. (1:51) These shows are a saving grace for me. (1:53) Julie's passionate words of wisdom for nourishing her body and loving herself unconditionally has really saved me.

(1:59) I had such a negative body image and negative mindset around myself it was disabling. (2:04) I discovered the podcast during 2020 lockdown and have not looked back. (2:08) Thank you Julie and crew for this podcast.

(2:10) God bless. (2:11) I love you so much. (2:12) Thank you so much for taking time out of your day.

(2:14) Like this is why I do what I do. (2:16) I'm so grateful for you. (2:17) Thank you for being here for over six years.

(2:19) I can't even believe that 2020 is six years ago. (2:21) Oh, it feels like it was just yesterday, but grateful for you. (2:24) Thank you for taking time out of your day to send in this review.

(2:27) All right, let's get into it. (2:28) Here are my best tips for feeling more confident in your body, (2:31) not someday but right now exactly as you are. (2:34) Firstly, you were allowed to be where you are today.

(2:38) Let me start here because I think that this is the permission that so many of us need, (2:41) but never give ourselves like you are allowed to be exactly where you are today. (2:44) Struggling with body competence doesn't mean that you're failing. (2:46) It doesn't mean that you're ungrateful.

(2:47) It does not mean that you're weak or that you haven't done enough work on yourself. (2:52) It literally means that you're human. (2:54) Body competence is not a destination that you arrive at and stay forever.

(2:57) It's not a finish line where you cross over and suddenly never have another day that feels hard. (3:02) Some days feel steady. (3:04) You wake up, you get dressed, you feel good in your skin.

(3:07) Other days, though, they feel heavy. (3:08) The mirror feels harsh. (3:09) Your clothes feel wrong and you spend the whole day very hyper aware of your body (3:13) in a way that just feels exhausting.

(3:15) Both of those experiences are part of the process (3:17) and the sooner that you stop making the hard days means something is wrong with you, (3:20) the sooner you can actually move through them with more grace. (3:24) I used to think that if I was having a bad body image day, (3:27) it meant that I hadn't healed enough. (3:29) Like I was supposed to get to this place where I love my body 100% of the time (3:33) and never struggled again, but that's not real life.

(3:35) And holding myself to that standard just made the hard days feel even worse (3:39) because I was layering this guilt and shame on top of what I was already feeling. (3:43) Now when I have a day where I don't feel great in my body, (3:46) I don't spiral, I just notice. (3:48) I remind myself, okay, this is a hard day.

(3:50) That's allowed and I keep moving forward because the goal isn't to never struggle. (3:54) The goal is to not let the struggle stop you from living your life. (3:57) So if today is a hard day for you, (3:59) if you just woke up feeling super disconnected from your body (4:02) or frustrated with how you look, I want you to know that that's okay.

(4:05) You're allowed to be here. (4:06) You're allowed to feel what you're feeling (4:07) and it doesn't mean that you're doing something wrong. (4:09) Second, stop waiting to love yourself before living your life.

(4:13) This one is huge, especially when it comes to your body. (4:16) How many times have you put your life on hold (4:18) until you feel better about how you look? (4:20) Like I'll wear that dress when I lose 10 pounds (4:22) or I'll go to the beach when I tone up (4:24) or I'll take pictures with my family when I feel more confident. (4:26) And listen, I get it, I've been there.

(4:28) I spent years waiting to feel good enough (4:30) in my body before I let myself fully show up. (4:32) And you know what? (4:33) That day never came (4:34) because I was using my body as the gatekeeper to my own joy. (4:38) Here's the truth.

(4:39) Joy is not a reward for reaching a certain body size. (4:42) You don't need permission to wear the clothes, (4:45) go to the beach, take the pictures (4:46) or show up fully in your life. (4:48) Your kids are not going to remember (4:49) what size you wore in the photos.

(4:51) They're going to remember that you were there. (4:53) Your friends don't care (4:54) if you have a flat stomach at the beach. (4:55) They care that you showed up (4:56) and made the memories with them.

(4:58) And that version of yourself (4:59) that you're waiting to become, (5:00) she's not going to just magically show up one day (5:02) and give you permission to live. (5:04) You have to give yourself that permission now. (5:07) So here's what I want you to do.

(5:08) Think about the one thing that you've been putting off (5:10) until you feel more confident about your body. (5:12) Maybe it's wearing a certain outfit. (5:14) Maybe it's signing up for a class or doing something (5:16) or going somewhere that you have been avoiding.

(5:19) And then I want you to do it anyway. (5:20) Do it before you feel ready. (5:21) Do it even though you don't love your body yet (5:23) because that's how you are going to build body confidence.

(5:26) Not by waiting for it to show up, (5:28) but by proving to yourself (5:29) that you're brave enough to live your life right now (5:32) in the body that you have today. (5:34) Third, your body is not the problem. (5:36) I'm going to repeat this again and again and again (5:39) because I really need you to hear this one.

(5:41) Your body is not the problem. (5:43) The pressure, the comparison, (5:44) the unrealistic standards around you. (5:46) That's what's heavy and feeling uncomfortable in your body (5:49) has less to do with your actual body (5:51) and more to do with living in a world (5:53) that profits from your insecurity.

(5:55) I want you to think about this. (5:56) We are surrounded by images of airbrush perfection. (6:00) We're told that certain bodies are good (6:01) and others need to be fixed.

(6:03) We're sold products, (6:04) programs, promises based on the idea (6:06) that if we just look different, we'd finally be happy. (6:08) And when you absorb that messaging (6:10) day after day, year after year, (6:11) it makes complete sense (6:13) that you'd start to believe that your body is the problem, (6:16) but it's not. (6:17) Your body is doing exactly what it's designed to do.

(6:19) It's adapting, it's challenging, (6:20) it's responding to stress, to hormones, to age. (6:23) And none of that makes it wrong or broken, (6:25) that discomfort that you feel. (6:27) That's not coming from your body, (6:28) it's coming from the gap (6:29) between what your body looks like (6:31) and what you've been told it should look like.

(6:34) And once you see that, (6:35) everything's going to shift (6:36) because you stop trying to fix yourself (6:38) and you start questioning (6:39) the standards that you've been holding yourself to. (6:41) You stop asking, (6:42) like, what is wrong with my body? (6:43) And instead you start asking, (6:45) why am I being told that my body is not enough? (6:47) And that's when real healing can start to begin. (6:51) Fourth, talk to yourself (6:52) like you would talk to someone that you love.

(6:54) Let's talk about the voice in your head (6:55) because the way that you talk to yourself (6:56) matters than almost anything else (6:58) when it comes to body confidence. (7:00) Most of us would never dream (7:01) of speaking to our best friend or our child (7:04) the way that we speak to ourselves. (7:05) We would never look at someone and say, (7:07) you look terrible today.

(7:08) You're so out of shape. (7:09) You should be embarrassed. (7:10) But we say things like that (7:11) to ourselves all the time.

(7:13) We don't even flinch. (7:14) So here's what I want you to start doing. (7:16) I want you to notice the tone that you use internally.

(7:19) Pay attention to the things that you say to yourself (7:21) when you look in the mirror, (7:22) when you try and close, (7:23) when you see a photo of yourself. (7:25) And if you would never say that to your child (7:26) or your best friend, (7:27) it does not deserve space in your head. (7:29) Instead, (7:30) try replacing that judgment with curiosity.

(7:33) Instead of criticizing how you look, (7:34) ask yourself what you need. (7:36) Instead of, (7:37) I look so bad today. (7:38) I'm having a hard body image day.

(7:41) What would help me feel more grounded? (7:43) Or instead of, (7:44) I hate how my body looks. (7:45) Try my body has been through a lot. (7:48) What does it need from me today? (7:50) This isn't about that toxic positivity (7:52) or forcing yourself to love your body (7:54) when you don't.

(7:55) It's about treating yourself (7:56) with the same kindness and compassion (7:58) that you'd offer to anyone else (8:00) that you care about. (8:01) Because the truth is, (8:02) you deserve that kindness too. (8:03) Even on the hard days, (8:05) especially on the hard days.

(8:07) Fifth, (8:08) clothes should fit your body, (8:09) not the other way around. (8:10) Okay, this is so practical, (8:12) but it makes the biggest difference. (8:14) Clothes should fit your body, (8:15) not the other way around.

(8:16) You are not meant to squeeze into discomfort. (8:18) You are not supposed to be punishing yourself (8:21) by wearing things that are too tight, (8:22) hoping that it's going to motivate you (8:24) to earn that smaller size. (8:26) Buy the size that fits now.

(8:28) Choose the softness. (8:29) Choose the ease. (8:30) Choose clothes that make you feel good (8:31) when you put them on, (8:32) not clothes that make you feel like you need a change (8:34) before you're allowed to wear them.

(8:36) I know that this can feel hard, (8:37) especially if you've been the same size (8:39) for years and your body has changed. (8:40) It can feel like giving up (8:41) or like you're letting yourself go. (8:43) But here's the reframe.

(8:44) I want you to buy clothes (8:45) that fit your body today, (8:47) because that is not giving up. (8:49) It's taking care of yourself. (8:50) It's choosing comfort (8:51) and confidence over punishment.

(8:53) Getting dressed should feel supportive, (8:55) not like a daily reminder (8:56) of everything you think is wrong (8:57) with your body. (8:58) So go through your closet. (8:59) Get rid of the things that don't fit (9:00) or make you feel bad (9:01) when you wear them.

(9:02) And invest in a few pieces (9:03) that you feel good in right now, (9:05) in the body that you have today, (9:06) because you deserve to feel comfortable (9:07) in your clothes. (9:08) You deserve to get dressed (9:09) without it being a battle. (9:11) Six, follow people who make you feel (9:13) seen not smaller.

(9:14) Your feed, so matters. (9:16) Please, please, please, please (9:16) please hear me on this. (9:17) What you consume on social media (9:19) every single day (9:19) has a direct impact (9:21) on how you see yourself (9:22) and how you feel in your body.

(9:24) If your feed is full of people (9:25) who make you feel less than bodies (9:26) that don't look like yours, (9:28) lives that feel unattainable, (9:29) messages that just make you feel (9:30) like you're not doing enough. (9:32) It's going to be so much harder (9:33) to feel good about yourself. (9:34) So here's what I want you to do.

(9:35) I want you to curate your feed (9:37) intentionally. (9:38) Surround yourself with bodies (9:39) that look like real life. (9:40) Follow people that show the messy, (9:42) the unfiltered, the normal.

(9:43) And unfollow anything (9:44) that triggers shame or comparison. (9:46) Even if it's subtle, (9:47) do this without guilt. (9:48) You don't owe anyone (9:48) your mental space (9:49) and you don't have to keep (9:51) following accounts (9:51) that make you feel bad (9:52) just because they're popular (9:53) or because everyone else (9:54) follows them.

(9:55) I want you to protect (9:56) your mental space (9:57) because what you see every day (9:58) is going to shape (9:59) how you see yourself. (10:00) And when you fill your feed (10:02) with people who make you feel seen (10:03) instead of smaller, (10:04) your body confidence (10:05) becomes so much easier to access. (10:07) Seventh, celebrate (10:08) what your body has carried you through.

(10:10) This one always brings me back (10:12) to gratitude (10:12) because when I'm stuck (10:14) in a spiral of hating (10:15) how my body looks, (10:16) the fastest way (10:17) is to remind myself (10:18) what my body has done for me. (10:20) Your body has held stress, (10:21) joy, grief, healing, growth, (10:23) change, a baby (10:24) if you've been pregnant. (10:25) It's carried you through hard seasons.

(10:27) It's adapted to pregnancy (10:29) to postpartum, (10:29) to aging, to life, stretch marks, (10:32) softness, scars, shifts. (10:34) They all tell a story (10:36) of survival and living. (10:37) They're proof that your body (10:38) is resilient, (10:39) that it's strong, (10:39) that it's working exactly (10:41) the way that it's supposed to.

(10:42) Worth is not erased by change. (10:44) You are not less valuable (10:45) because your body looks (10:46) different than it did (10:47) five years ago. (10:48) You're not failing (10:48) because you have cellulite (10:49) or because your genes fit differently.

(10:51) Your body is a living, breathing thing. (10:53) It's supposed to change (10:55) and every change (10:56) is evidence of a life fully lived. (10:58) So when you're having a hard day, (11:00) I want you to try shifting your focus (11:01) from how your body looks (11:03) to what it's done for you, (11:04) what it's carried, (11:05) what it's survived, (11:06) what it's made possible.

(11:08) Because when you see your body (11:09) as a partner (11:10) instead of a project, (11:12) everything changes. (11:13) Eighth, confidence can start as neutrality. (11:16) So here's something (11:17) that I wish I would have known earlier.

(11:18) You don't have to wake up (11:19) loving your body. (11:20) For years, (11:21) I personally thought the goal (11:22) was to look in the mirror (11:23) every single day (11:23) and have this overwhelming (11:25) sense of love and acceptance. (11:27) And when I didn't feel that way, (11:29) I felt like I was failing.

(11:30) But body confidence, (11:31) that doesn't have to look like love. (11:33) It can start as neutrality, right? (11:35) Some days body confidence (11:36) is simply saying, (11:38) this is my body today (11:39) and that's enough. (11:40) You don't have to love it.

(11:41) You don't have to feel great before it. (11:42) You just have to accept it. (11:43) You have to respect it (11:44) and not fight against it.

(11:46) Aim for respect, (11:48) appreciation, acceptance. (11:49) Those are all forms of confidence as well. (11:51) Because the opposite (11:52) of hating your body (11:53) isn't always loving it.

(11:55) It's not obsessing over it. (11:56) It's not letting it control your entire day. (11:59) And that, (12:00) that's so much more peaceful (12:01) than constantly trying to force yourself (12:03) into feeling something that you don't.

(12:06) And the last thing (12:07) that I want you to remember (12:07) is the one thing (12:08) that I want you to carry with you. (12:10) And that is that you are allowed (12:11) to take up space. (12:13) Physically, emotionally, and socially.

(12:15) You don't have to shrink (12:16) to be worthy of love, (12:18) rest, visibility, care. (12:19) You don't need to make yourself (12:20) smaller to make other people (12:22) feel comfortable. (12:22) You don't need to apologize (12:23) for existing in your body.

(12:25) You don't need to earn (12:25) the right to be here. (12:26) You are allowed to take up space (12:28) as you are. (12:28) And the more you practice that, (12:30) the more you let yourself (12:30) be seen, be heard, be present, (12:32) the more natural it becomes.

(12:34) Because you deserve to be here (12:35) in your full, whole, (12:36) imperfect, beautiful self. (12:38) Because you deserve to be here (12:40) in your full, whole, imperfect, (12:42) beautiful self. (12:43) And the world needs you (12:44) to show up that way.

(12:45) All right, (12:45) let's quickly recap (12:46) what I talked about (12:47) and what we covered today. (12:48) Number one, you are allowed (12:50) to be where you are today. (12:51) Struggling does not mean (12:52) that you're failing.

(12:53) It means that you're human. (12:54) Number two, (12:54) stop waiting to love yourself (12:56) before living your life. (12:57) Joy is not a reward.

(12:59) You don't need permission (12:59) to show up fully. (13:01) Number three, (13:01) your body is not the problem. (13:03) The pressure (13:03) and unrealistic standards are.

(13:05) That discomfort, (13:06) that makes sense. (13:07) Number four, (13:08) talk to yourself (13:08) like you would talk (13:09) to someone that you love. (13:10) I want you to replace (13:11) judgment with curiosity (13:12) and kindness.

(13:13) Number five, (13:14) your clothes should fit (13:15) your body, (13:16) not the other way around. (13:17) Buy the size that fits now. (13:18) Choose comfort.

(13:19) Number six, (13:20) follow people who make (13:21) you feel seen, (13:22) not smaller. (13:23) I want you to curate (13:24) your social feed intentionally (13:25) and protect your mental space. (13:27) Number seven, (13:28) celebrate what your body (13:29) has carried you through.

(13:30) Change is not a failure. (13:32) It's evidence of life lived. (13:34) Number eight, (13:35) confidence can start as neutrality.

(13:37) You don't have to love (13:37) your body every day. (13:39) Respect is enough. (13:41) And last but not least, (13:41) number nine, (13:42) you are allowed to take up space.

(13:43) You don't need to shrink (13:44) to be worthy. (13:45) If even one of these things (13:47) has landed for you today, (13:48) I want you to write it down. (13:49) Put it somewhere (13:50) where you'll see it.

(13:51) Come back to it (13:51) on the hard days. (13:52) Because body confidence (13:53) isn't built in one moment. (13:55) It's built in those (13:55) thousand small moments (13:57) where you choose to be kind to (13:59) yourself instead of being cruel.

(14:00) Where you choose to show up (14:01) instead of hide. (14:02) Where you choose (14:03) to see yourself as worthy (14:04) exactly as you are (14:06) as a child of God. (14:07) And if you're listening (14:07) to this thinking, (14:08) okay, I want to work on this, (14:10) but I also need consistency (14:12) with my movement (14:12) in a way that actually (14:14) supports my body.

(14:15) That's exactly why (14:16) I created my movement (14:17) with Julie Dumbo and the workouts. (14:18) In this app, (14:19) you're going to find (14:19) structured strain training (14:20) that helps you build (14:21) confidence from the inside out. (14:23) You can go to (14:23) sale s a l e dot move (14:25) with Julie dot com.

(14:26) And before you go, (14:27) if this episode gave you (14:29) even one mindset shift (14:30) or permission that you (14:31) needed to hear today, (14:32) would you just send it (14:33) to a friend who might need (14:34) to hear it as well? (14:35) Let's get this message (14:36) in front of more women (14:37) who are ready to finally (14:38) feel at peace in their skin. (14:41) And if you want to (14:41) keep learning, (14:42) I think that you will (14:42) also love episode 491. (14:44) Nine small wins (14:46) you can start celebrating (14:47) today.

(14:48) You can find that (14:48) in the show notes as well. (14:49) All right, (14:50) thank you so much (14:51) for being here today. (14:52) I'm so proud of you (14:53) for showing up for yourself (14:54) for doing the work (14:55) and choosing to see yourself (14:57) with more kindness.

(14:58) You are worthy, (14:59) you are amazing (15:00) and so so loved. (15:01) I'll talk to you in (15:02) the next episode. (15:08) All right, sister, (15:10) that's all I got (15:10) for you today.

(15:11) But I have two (15:12) things that I need (15:13) you to do. (15:14) First thing, (15:15) if you are not already (15:16) following me on the gram, (15:17) be sure to do so (15:18) Julie A. Ledbetter. (15:19) Yes, it's with an A (15:20) in the middle.

(15:21) For that daily (15:22) post workout real talk, (15:24) healthy tips (15:24) and tricks (15:25) and honest accountability (15:26) to keep your mind (15:27) and heart in check. (15:28) The second thing, (15:29) be sure to subscribe (15:30) to Apple Podcast (15:32) to never miss (15:33) an episode. (15:34) Thank you so much (15:35) for joining me.

(15:36) It means the absolute world (15:38) and I'm going to leave you (15:39) with one last thought. (15:40) The most beautiful women (15:41) that I have met in my life (15:43) are the ones (15:43) who are completely confident (15:45) and secure (15:46) in being authentically (15:48) themselves. (15:49) Remember that beauty (15:50) goes so much deeper (15:51) than the surface.

(15:52) So go out there (15:53) and embrace your real (15:54) because (15:55) you're worth it.

 
Julie Ledbetterembrace your real, q and a, workouts, scheduleComment