The Permission I Wish Someone Had Given Me Sooner

 

For years, I believed rest was something you earned. I thought I had to work hard enough, prove I was disciplined enough, and hit the next goal before I was “allowed” to slow down. In this bonus episode, I’m sharing the permission I wish someone had given me sooner and the lesson I had to learn the hard way when my body finally forced me to stop.

This conversation is personal and honest. I talk about how hustle culture shaped my relationship with rest, what happened when I kept pushing through exhaustion, and how everything shifted when I finally gave myself permission to slow down. If you have been waiting to feel ready before resting, eating more, saying no, or prioritizing yourself, this episode is your reminder that you do not need to wait.

Here is what I share in this episode:

• Why I believed rest had to be earned
• How constantly pushing started impacting my energy, mood, and cycle
• The mindset shift that changed how I see recovery
• Why rest supports progress instead of slowing it down
• The question you need to ask yourself about permission
• Practical steps to start giving yourself permission today

If this episode gave you something you needed to hear, make sure you are following the podcast so you do not miss future episodes. And if someone in your life needs this reminder, send it to her.

If you are ready to build strength in a way that supports your body instead of breaking it down, you can learn more about Movement With Julie at movementwithjulie.com.

If you want more from me, be sure to check out… 

Website: www.juliealedbetter.com

Transcript

(0:00) Hey, hey, beautiful human. Can I steal five minutes of your time? I have something super (0:05) important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to (0:09) my weekly bonus episode of embrace your real with me, Julie, that better.

I'm about to (0:13) give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body and unconditionally loving (0:18) your authentic self. Stay tuned. If you're ready to embrace a real, let's get it.

Let's (0:23) go. Hello and welcome back to another episode on the embrace your podcast. This episode is (0:37) going to be a little bit different.

It's going to be more personal, more vulnerable. And honestly, (0:41) the kind of conversation that I wish I could go back to and have with my younger self, (0:45) my 20 year old self, my 23 year old self, because for years, you guys, and I mean years, I (0:50) was waiting. I was waiting to feel ready, waiting to feel like I deserved it, waiting (0:54) for someone else to tell me that it was okay.

And the thing that I was waiting for (0:58) permission to do, that was your rest, not just taking a day off here or there, but (1:02) actually resting, slowing down, letting my body recover, saying no to things that didn't (1:08) serve me, releasing the pressure to do more, be more, prove more. And nobody gave me that (1:12) permission. So I just kept pushing.

I kept going and kept telling myself that rest was (1:16) something that I would earn later. And after I hit the next goal, after I proved that (1:21) I was disciplined enough after I had done enough to deserve it, but enough never (1:25) came because I kept moving the finish line. It wasn't until my body literally forced (1:30) me to stop until I was so burnt out and depleted that I physically could not keep (1:35) going.

That I finally gave myself permission to rest. And that's the permission (1:39) I wish that someone else had given me sooner. Before we go any further, though, I (1:44) want to share this review.

It honestly brought tears to my eyes to give a five (1:47) star review and said practical and inspiring. My favorite part of the (1:50) Embrace Real podcast is the variety yet consistency of every episode. There's a (1:55) great variety of very practical tips and information that can be used to grow (1:58) in physical and mental health.

But also many episodes focus on mindset or (2:02) inspiration. This podcast is a great place to come for both physical and (2:07) mental tips and easily implemented hacks, as well as more long term work. (2:12) Julie melts all aspects of health and happiness beautifully.

Regardless of the (2:17) episode topic, I always finish listening with a sense of peace as well as a (2:21) little fire under my booty to keep progressing and grow. I also love her (2:25) voice. I find it very soothing.

This podcast is definitely worth a try, (2:29) whether you're just starting on your health and fitness journey, or you've (2:31) been here a while. I love this so much. Thank you so much for taking time out (2:35) of your day to send in these reviews.

They really do mean the world to me (2:39) and our team just kind of know maybe it was a specific episode or just the (2:42) podcast in general, we would love to hear it. So you could go to Apple (2:46) podcast, type in Embrace Real first, make sure you subscribe so that you (2:49) never miss an episode they release on Monday and Thursday. And then you (2:52) can scroll all the way down and leave a rating interview.

All right, let's (2:55) just dive right in. And this is why we literally have to talk about this, why (3:01) I thought that I had to earn rest, because for most of my life, you guys, (3:05) I saw rest as a reward, like something that you got after you worked hard (3:08) enough, after you prove that you weren't lazy. And a lot of that really (3:13) came from messages that I personally absorbed growing up like hustle (3:16) culture, the idea that if you're not constantly productive, you're (3:19) falling behind the belief that your worth is tied to how much you (3:23) accomplished.

And this really came like later in my teenage (3:25) beginning of my 20s, like, as you're in college, and as I (3:30) graduated college, and, you know, started in the entrepreneurial (3:32) world, I feel like when you just start following these people, (3:36) that's the message that is being blasted to you. And so rest (3:40) just felt indulgent. Like if I rested, I was giving up or worse, (3:43) like I was weak, like that's how I felt.

And in the fitness (3:46) world, that mentality is everywhere, like no days off, (3:49) push through the pain, more is better. Rest is for the people (3:52) who aren't serious about their goals. And so I didn't rest, I (3:55) push, I added more workouts, I ignored my body when it was (3:57) tired.

And for a while, it seemed like that was working. I (4:00) was seeing results, I felt like, you know, I'm doing everything (4:03) right. But then my body started to break down.

I was exhausted (4:06) all the time. My workouts felt harder, not easier. My mood was (4:10) terrible.

My sleep was a complete mess. And my period (4:12) even stopped being regular. I remember thinking like, what the (4:16) heck am I doing wrong? I'm doing everything that I'm (4:18) supposed to be doing.

But the truth was that I wasn't doing (4:21) something wrong. I was just doing too much. And my body was (4:24) screaming at me to stop.

And the moment that changed (4:27) everything, like the turning point was when someone finally (4:30) said the words that I didn't know that I needed to hear. But (4:33) they said, Julie, rest is not something that you earn, it's (4:37) something that your body needs. And if you don't give it (4:40) permission to rest, it's gonna force you to rest.

And I (4:44) didn't want to believe that at first, honestly, resting felt (4:46) like failing, but my body had already made that decision for (4:49) me. So I gave permission to rest. I gave myself that (4:53) permission to rest permission to take rest days without guilt, (4:56) permission to eat more permission to stop proving that (4:59) I was disciplined enough.

And it was hard, like every part of (5:03) me wanted to keep pushing, but I didn't I rested, I ate, I (5:07) slowed down. And you know what happened? I did not lose my (5:10) progress. I didn't become lazy.

I actually got stronger. My (5:13) energy came back. My workouts felt better.

My body started (5:16) to respond again. And I just realized something that changed (5:20) everything. Rest isn't the opposite of progress.

Rest is (5:23) a part of progress. Your body doesn't adapt during the (5:27) workout, it adapts during recovery. And if you never give (5:30) it time to recover, you're not building, you're just (5:32) constantly breaking down.

And so kind of what permission do (5:36) you need to give yourself? Here's what I want to ask you (5:39) today. What permission do you need to give yourself? Maybe (5:42) it's the same as mine permission to rest to take a (5:44) off without guilt, to eat more, to stop pushing so hard (5:48) all the time, or maybe it's something else. Maybe you (5:50) need a per you need that permission to say no to things (5:52) that don't serve you to eat the food that you want (5:55) without justifying it to prioritize yourself without (5:57) feeling selfish.

Just stop trying to prove yourself (6:00) disciplined enough or strong enough or worthy enough. (6:03) Whatever it is, you do not have to wait for someone (6:06) else to give you that permission. You can give it (6:08) to yourself right now.

I know that feels scary. For (6:10) anything like me, you've likely spent years believing (6:13) that you need to earn it first, that giving yourself (6:15) permission is somehow letting yourself off the hook. (6:18) But here's the truth.

Giving yourself permission (6:19) isn't letting yourself off the hook. It's actually (6:22) honoring what you need. And when you do that, (6:25) everything is going to shift.

You stop living in a (6:27) constant state of proving, you stop measuring your (6:29) worth by how hard you're pushing, and you start (6:32) showing up from a place of care instead of (6:35) pressure. Here's what helped me. First, I want you (6:37) to name what you're waiting for permission to (6:40) do.

I want you to be specific, not, I need to (6:42) take care, better care of myself, but I need (6:45) permission to rest without feeling guilty. When you (6:47) name it, you can actually start to address it. And (6:50) second, I want you to ask yourself who you're (6:52) waiting to hear that from.

Is that a coach? Is (6:54) that a partner? Your significant other, the (6:56) scale, your body looking a certain way. That (6:59) permission is never going to come from outside (7:02) of you. You have to give it to yourself.

And (7:04) if this is anything like me, once you allow (7:07) yourself to be acceptable, listening to it from a (7:11) person, so whether that's a coach or even me, (7:14) then you are able to take those words and you (7:17) are able to say, okay, I am going to hear these (7:20) words. And I'm also just going to give myself (7:23) permission. And in that moment, I think that's (7:25) when everything clicked.

Also, I want you to (7:28) write it down, like literally write the words (7:30) down. I give myself permission to blank, say (7:33) it out loud, put it somewhere that you'll see (7:35) it. Sometimes just saying the words is enough (7:37) to really shift something inside of you.

And (7:40) the fourth thing is I want you to start small. (7:42) You don't have to overhaul your entire life (7:44) overnight. I want you to start with one thing, (7:47) one rest day, one meal where you don't track, (7:49) or maybe you're just tracking your protein one (7:51) time that you say no without feeling the need (7:54) to over explain, then do it again until it (7:57) starts to feel like less rebellion and more (8:00) like care because you're allowed to rest.

(8:02) You're allowed to take up space. You're allowed (8:03) to prioritize yourself and you don't need (8:05) anyone else's permission but your own. So (8:08) today, right now, I want you to give yourself (8:10) permission to do the one thing that you've been (8:12) waiting to feel ready for because you don't (8:14) have to wait anymore.

You're allowed to (8:16) exactly as you are, exactly where you are. (8:20) If this bonus episode gave you one moment of (8:22) permission that you needed to hear, I just (8:24) want to encourage you to send it to someone (8:26) who might need it. And if you haven't (8:28) already, be sure to hit follow so that you (8:30) don't miss new episodes when they release (8:32) on Monday and Thursdays.

But hear me loud and (8:34) clear. I want you to give yourself (8:36) permission that you have been waiting for. (8:39) You deserve it.

Trust me. Please, please, (8:41) please remember that when you do, you will (8:44) feel so much better. You really will.

(8:48) I truly believe that action cures fear (8:51) and gains confidence. All right. I love you (8:54) so much.

I mean it and I'll talk to you (8:56) in the next one. (9:07) All right, sister. That's all I got for (9:09) you today.

But I have two things that I (9:12) need you to do. First thing, if you're not (9:14) already following me on the gram, be sure (9:16) to do so. Julie A. Ledbetter.

Yes, it's (9:18) with an A in the middle for that daily (9:21) post-workout real talk, healthy tips and (9:24) tricks and honest accountability to keep (9:26) your mind and heart in check. The second (9:28) thing, be sure to subscribe to Apple (9:30) Podcast to never miss an episode. Thank (9:33) you so much for joining me.

It means (9:36) the absolute world. And I'm going to (9:37) leave you with one last thought. The (9:39) most beautiful women that I have met in (9:41) my life are the ones who are completely (9:44) confident and secure in being (9:47) authentically themselves.

Remember that (9:50) beauty goes so much deeper than the (9:51) surface. So go out there and embrace (9:54) your real because you're worth it.

 
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